Friday, November 28, 2008

When I Fall Down, I'll try to Wake Up Again..

"Yesterday morning I was still excited with what's gonna happen...
I have all these dreams in my head..
Now, all I wanna do is runaway from all this mess..
Have a little break..
And try to move on with my life...
I don't know what God has planned for me, but I believe that it must be something a lot better than all of this...
I hope so.."


That was a note I wrote on my cellphone's notepad, the night I got the second bad news.

Well, for some of you that have read my previous posts, maybe you already know that recently I 'm following recruitment processes in some companies. Well I got the last result from them yesterday and the day before.

It turns out that the results are both disappointing.

The first bad news came in the late afternoon on Wednesday. I already saw the main announcement on the message board of the website at noon, but they still haven't posted the list of names of the succeeding candidates. So I waited till the afternoon to see it again. While browsing for other things I always refresh the web page. Then the list came out, I searched, I didn't find my name, I searched it again, none. That time I feel like yelling so much, but I managed to calmed down. After that I pray that I home something good will come, that I'm destined to be working in the other company that I also applied for. But I nearly cried that day.

The next day, which was yesterday, after I had lunch I went back to my room trying to turn on the TV, when my cell phone rings, a new message came. I checked, it was my friend who also followed the recruitment process in the second company, she said that the announcement were already posted on the website. So I hurried turning on the PC, waiting it to turn on, open the browser, and the the website was there. I saw the link to the announcement, I clicked it. Read the main announcement. Search for my name, didn't find it (again), searched again, maybe for about 5 times, still my name wasn't there. This time I really can't help it, I start to cry. But only lasted for a while.
Then I called my Mom to tell her about the second bad news of the week, I failed again. Then I started to cry again.

So this it. What I have done in the last 4 (FOUR) months is such a waste. All the hopes and dreams that I have put by working for either company just vanished right away. Just because a damn medical check up.

Now, I really really need a break..

Then, when I am ready I will work out on what to do next..

And yes, when I fall down, I'll always try to wake up again...


PS.
Thanks for everyone of you that have supported me in the last four months, especially to my Dad, for always being there...
and to my friends for the best wishes and supports...
I will always try again and again, until one day I succeed..
Love u all..

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

(Masih) Menunggu

Seperti yang pernah saya katakan pada posting yang lalu tentang menunggu, hal ini merupakan salah satu hal yang paling tidak saya sukai. Apapun itu yang sedang saya tunggu. Apalagi menunggu dalam ketidakpastian....Hufff...Sangat menyebalkan. Lebih lagi kalau yang ditunggu itu sesuatu yang menyangkut masa depan, apa yang akan terjadi sebulan setahun atau bahkan lima tahun dari sekarang...makin menyebalkan.

Jadi, di sinilah saya, menunggu dalam ketidakpastian. Menunggu sesuatu yang menyangkut masa depan saya, sesuatu yang menentukan apa yang akan saya lakukan dalam sebulan, setahun atau bahkan lima tahun ke depan.
Yang membuat hal ini makin tidak menyenangkan adalah pihak yang membuat saya menunggu ini tidak memberitahu kapan ketidakpastian ini akan berakhir. Bahkan tidak ada batas waktu tertentu dimana kemungkinan saya akan mendengar dari mereka.

Mungkin kamu bertanya, apa sih sebenarnya yang kamu tunggu? Well, jawabnya mudah, hasil tes sebuah proses panjang rekrutmen pegawai di sebuah BUMN terkemuka.
Jadi proses panjang ini sudah dimulai sejak bulan Juli 2008 ini, yang berarti sudah lebih empat bulan. Dari semua proses panjang itu, Alhamdulillah saya sudah sampai pada tahap akhir, yaitu medical check-up yang dilaksanakan pada tanggal 17 November ini. Pada saat itu mereka tidak memberitahu kami kapan hasil akhir ini akan diberitahukan. Jadilah kami semua, 87 orang ini, menunggu dalam ketidakpastian yang menyebalkan.

Apalagi saat ini, beberapa rekan saya yang juga mengikuti proses ini telah dihubungi oleh pihak perusahaan. Hal ini makin mebuat jantung saya makin berdegup tak menentu.

Saat ini saya hanya bisa terus berdoa dan berharap agar Allah SWT dapat memberikan yang terbaik untuk saya, amin...

Di sisi lain, saya juga mengikuti test di perusahaan lain, yang juga telah sampai pada tahap akhir. Bedanya perusahaan ini memberikan waktu tertentu, kapan kemungkinan palin cepat mereka akan mengumumkan hasilnya. Mereak berkata kami bisa mulai memeriksa website mereka mulai tanggal 20 November ini. Tapi sampai saat ini pengumuman itu masih saja belum ada di website perusahaan itu...

So, I'll just keep hoping, praying, and believing that god has prepared something great and wonderful for me....amin...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Just a Dream

I was dreaming of you last night...

We were walking together
I don't know where we were heading to

Suddenly, I don't know why
You hold my hand
Yes you did
You hold my hand
really really tight

I felt so real

Now, I have a simple question to ask
Have you ever dreamed of me?

Monday, November 17, 2008

A Poetry Book

I don't really like to read poets...I just enjoy to write some...hehehe...
But a small, grayish book, with lots of fruits on it, caught my eye...

The title of that poetry book is "Fruits: Flavors of Life" by Marrysa Tunjung Sari.

So, these are some of my favorite poets from this little book...


***
Stupid Poem

Do you love me?
Just answer my question as simple as the question !

Do you love?
Why so much trouble just for a question ?

Do you love me?
Bullshit with all the sad songs and sentences !
All I need is just an answer for...

Do you love me?
Simply by yes or no
And all the consequence will be all on my side

What is this??!!
You respond a question with a question !

What kind of answer is that !
Okay I will answer yours,
Yes I love you!

And if I don't love you,
I will find the way to love you!

Now,
Do you love me ?


***
Cheap Romance

Don't be nice to me
Without understanding me
Don't ever pity on me
Without seeing me suffer
Don't you talk behind me
Without reading between the lines
Don't ever thank me
Without admitting I'm your friend
Don't even bother to remember me
Only a memory of cheap romance


***
A Mind of Jealousy

I dreamed of you last night
You walked with another woman
Not me I guess
I woke up broken

I dreamed of you again
You kissed that same woman
Definitely not me
....again

***

nice ones right?
try to read it yourself..

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Indonesia Book Fair 2008

Yesterday I went to the Indonesia Book Fair at the Plenary Hall, JHCC. There was a lot of book publishers and book stores following that event. They give a lot of discounts for books there, starting from 10% to 70%. That was really a great deal for a book lover like me. I can't save a lot by coming to these event and buying books here.

By coming to this event I was hoping that I could find some good English books, from my favorite authors of course, or any best selling books that some people recommends me to read. But, I didn't find any good English book with a good price. Most of the English book that I want, was sold with a normal price. Hmmmmm....This made me a little upset...Huuff... I searched for them in almost every stands that sells English books. But most of them don't have a really good price. So, I move on to find Indonesian books that I have been targeting to buy, when I went to a bookstore last time.

So, after searching around the Hall for about half an hour, I finally bought one Novel, entitled "Where Rainbows Ends" by Cecelia Ahern. Then I went on searching again, to other stands, then I found a poetry book called "Fruits: Falvor of Life" by Marrysa Tunjung Sari. I've already read half of it, it's good actually.
so, I continue searching, but found nothing interesting. But I remembered that I had an interest on a book at the stand where I bought the first book. So I get back there and bought "Bellamore: A Beautiful Love to Remember" by Karla M. Nashar. Well, I'm happy that I got the books that I wanted.

On that same time, at the same place, there were also a computer exhibition at another hall. So, I also went there to look around. Makes me wanna buy a new iPod nano...huhuhu...(maybe when i got my paycheck!) and also making me wanting those Hi-tech Laptops...hmmm... But at last, I didn't buy anything here.

Then I got lunch and went home.