Achieve Some. Expect More

The Very Moment, When Allah SWT Starts to Answer My Prayers, One at a Time ^_^

Yes, in this time of my long journey of life. I've come to the time when I'll always say, what ever happens will be the best for me and everyone around me.

From the day that I graduated, I always dreamed to get my dream job. And I did.

I started my career as a Liaison Officer for Festival Film Indonesia 2007 in Riau. One of the biggest event in Indonesia's entertainment world. That time I was escorting VJ Mike Lucock and Sissy Prescillia (I got it right, didn't I mba Sissy?). And it was the job of my dreams, being around famous people. It's not that this is rare in my life now. Since I've met the owner of around 15 FOs in Bandung, Mr. Perry. And I also had Nyoman Nuarta on my first Ramadhan in Bandung. And the fact that Sarah Sechan. Yes, the Sarah Sechan, my favorite MTv VJ aside Jamie Aditya. She was the guess lecture on my communication class. And even the king of event organizer has come to our beloved campus, SBM ITB, yes, Adrie Subono. Not to mention, the author of my favorite books, Leading in Crisis. Robby Johan, yes the one behind the merger of 3 government banks and formed Bank Mandiri. He also fixed Garuda Indonesia Airlines when it was facing a huge loss and made it even better now. And finally
I met Chairul Tanjung, the CEO of TransCorp. I adore him for being a dentist and end up to become a business tycoon. Two thumbs up to everyone of them!! =)

Then, I got another fun job. Teaching English to Elementary School Students. This is so fun, that I never considered to stop doing it. I even applied as teaching assistant for the first semester in 2010. Back to SBM again, the beginning. Where I started to dream for bigger things.

And the fact that now, I have 3, yes THREE, jobs at a time, and planning to give up one in June. And I kinda found my dream job. Doing something I really understand. Quality and Performance Management. And I nailed this opportunity just by doing one simple thing. Trying to loose more weight by exercising. And I did, I've lost approximately 17 kilos since I graduated from ITB. And this caught me to fix the quality and performace problems in RSUD Arifin Achmad, Riau Province. Yes, FYI, now I'm the Secretary of the Attendings Clinic in the ISO 9001:2008 certification process.

So, here I am being thankful for what Allah SWT did to my long and continuous journey of life.
Just to give me an opportunity to become a way better person, in every aspect in my life.

To make it simple. In this university of Life, just try to always make a SWOT analysis on every problem you face. Consider your strength and opportunities. Then find your weaknesses and threads your gonna face in the near future. Try to find solutions, simple things that will make life easier. And then see what will happen next. ^_^

***
An effect of too many Mario Teguh Golden Ways and following sessions of Tafsir Al-Qur'an. While trying to be Ikhlas for every small loss that I face in my long and never ending journey of life. ^__^

XOXO,
Zaza
Http://awonderfuljourney.blogspot.com
Saman of Nusantara's Bunga Rampai on Oddisey 2005
Formasi Bunga of Nusantara's Bunga Rampai
When I took them back to the Airport after 24hours together.. Kinda miss that time guys, always remember that Sunday of FFI meet and greet every thime I went to Ciputra Seraya... :)
Our Though Team of young generations who always tries to makes a different.. Keep Up the Good Work guys! ;P
Hmmm...
can't wait to spent one of these days sistas, wa...
of course with lucky out of the picture..
and Wildan adn Danel also there two..
& hopefully me and Icha will get there soon.. ;-P
Ciwidey..
IPA 1 SmunSa 2004...Miss everyone of youuu... Esp when we prepare the Cleopatra series... :D
WE meet again after 14 years...hahahaha.... Tikii...
Love ur devious, sarcastic and smart way to solve our problems! Now-Buy-a-ticket-and-come-here-missy!! ;P
Our first job seeking after our garduations day on Oct 2007.. :D
my all time favorite people in my life who taught me about what best friends means! Can't wait for Juli guys! ;P

Coming Soon: Gading-Gading Ganesha (3G)

Congratulating my Final Project Counselor for the Release of his 2nd Novel!
Really proud to have been supervised by you, Our future SBM ITB Dean!
I'll be there on the Launching, and really looking forward to it...
Jia You, Lao Shi! (mudah2an bener ;-P)

"Mystery Love Story" Part II

Posting ini berhubungan dengan post gw sebelumnya, "Definitely. Maybe. From My Side".

Nah yang sekarang lebih mebahas tiga orang yang pernah berstatus: Pacar - HTSan - Future Partners...

Nah, di kelas tambahan IELTS gw yg terakhir sebelum Simulation Test ke II kita. Qta belajar: Reading for Academic Purposes.

Ada dua artikel;
a. Early Telecommunications Devices

b. Categorizing Love

Since the last post was related with the 2nd article, so let's start the Next Chapter of "Mystery Love Story".

If you know Icha Rahmanti, the Author of "Cintapuccino" and "Beauty Case"

Now we are going to talk about the second book...

Where Icha starts to talk about, the phase in a young women's life. When she becomes the the Trophy for the most eligible bachelor in town. So, on my age of twenty-three now, I'm reaching this phase. When I start comparing the next guy I met with my ex, my long-term-open relationship (HTS, red).

Hmmm...
So, FYI, on my 23rd year of living, there's only one person who has the title as 'My Boyfriend'. He's name is Eddo. And I just met him again this year. We never really contacted each other since we graduated Middle School. Well, we dated on our 2nd year in Middle School. And lasted only approximately two months, wasn't it Do? I dunno, I can't really remember, since it was 10 years ago.

I felt really lucky that I had some one so caring like Eddo to be someone really special in my past. Thanks Do. And now he still cares for me, not even less than 10 years ago. And he studies at an institute of hotel & tourism management in Jakarta, near my house there. He just need to use one public transport about 15 minutes to get to my house.. Hehehe.. ;-P

Well, last night (Thursday 28th of May 2009), Eddo text me. I haven't saved his number yet so he got me guessing at the beginning and let me know on maybe his 4th messages. We did some nostalgia on the past. On how we used to be in middle school. How we missed that moment and everything. When he says he wants to have a private English lesson with me and said that he's afraid he couldn't concentrate if I was the teacher...Hahaha.. dasar kamu ya Do, masih jahil aja.. ;-P
I really do miss those times on my 2nd grade of middle school, when I used to remind you to study for mid test and pray Ashar at the school's mosque. can't wait to meet you next month Do... Really miss how you adore me.. ^_^

I also miss the moments of my senior year in middle school. When I was a kind of 'it' girl at school. Good grades in class, an OSIS general secretary and a senior of Girl's Basketball and Junior Red Cross. We won the 1st Junior Red Cross Competition for Middle Schools in Pekanbaru, we got the 1st place.. Yeay! Miss u all me friends...

hmmm... in Middle School I actually found my soulmate(s), best friends everyone ever wanted, my wonderful Fantastic Four and Wewe Gombel... Elvinnnooo, Cuitraaa, Rahmi Uni Lotek dan Dito 'si objek penderita'... Huhuhu.. can't wait for July 18 and 19.. Our beloved Citra Annisa's Wedding... Really happy for you and Bang Erick...
Hopefully I will get there soon cit... Wish me luck.. ;-P

And happy for Dito and Elvin, since they're having their graduation ceremony this coming October...





to be continued....
^_^

the next chapter of "Mystery Love Story"

Realize

by Colbie Caillat

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

C: If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

V2: Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

C: If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

V3: It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

C: If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

OoOoOOo

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now

Realize, realize
realize, realize

***
Love the lyrics of this song and the music of every Colbie's song...
Keep Up the good work girl!

Singing: All the Love in the World - The Corrs

Maybe you're start to think I'm desperate, miserable and all those things...
But, here I'm on my twenty something of age, where every young women in the world will do every thing to get to sing the classic 'Mother How are you today?' song, and reached this verse...
"I found the knight of my dreams, maybe someday you will get to know him, promise you I'd be okay... Mother how are you today?"

Don't I look desperate and pathetic,
Once again I'm turning into Meredith Grey when she said to Derek Shepherd;
"Choose me! Pick me! Love me!" hehehehe... ;P

I'm not that desperado...
Just waiting for the best to come... :D
and starts singing this lovely song from The Corrs

XOXO,
-zha-

****

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friends, I'm more than okay
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams, but it's not all they say

Still I believe
(I'm missing...)
I'm missing something real
I need someone who releases me

(Don't want to wake...)
Don't want to wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk in my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't critisise it, I had no hesitations
My imagination just stole me away

Still I believe
(I'm missing...)
I'm missing something real
I need someone who releases me

(Don't want to wake...)
Don't want to wake up alone anymore
Still believeing you'll walk in my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

<Guitar/Tin whistle solo>

Love's for a lifetime
Not for a moment
So happy, don't throw it away
I'm only human
And that's (?)brought colder(?)
With noone to love me that way

I need someone who releases me

(Don't want to wake...)
Don't want to wake up alone anymore
Still believeing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

(Don't want to wake up alone anymore)
All alone
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Just reach for me
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Don't want to be alone
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Don't want to wake up alone
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Let me know it's sure
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Still believe in someone
(Don't want to wake up alone)
When you reach for me
(Don't want to wake up alone)
Let me know it's for real

Meet Ronny. My New Partner in Crime :D

Okay. First, he's the top scorer on my list.

Why so? Because he only needs 3 times to make me consider to put him on this list. If you're following my blog. You'll know what I'm talking about.

Here's the thing. He's the kind of person who never takes thing seriously, he has a good sense of humor. The kind of person that would make you laugh for hours.

Just so you know, he succeeded making me laugh, till my stomach ache and I started to cry. And I can picture him hanging out with my all time favorite people in life, the Fantastic Four and Wewe Gombel. Hahahaha...
For the useless and hilarious things that we share...
Luv ya guys... ;-P

The 15th of May 2009. One of those days, where I WON!!! ^_^

It was a day where big things happened. The day where I turned from nobody to somebody. The day when my BFF, Elvin, told me to get married soon (Please deh vin, ama siapa coba???). The day when I nearly killed Tikki because she told me all those devious and sarcastic thing (That really popped-out in my mind Tik, seriously ). And finally, it was the day when I found out that me and my,hmmmm, friend Tronic kinda have a song. Okay, let's start with that one.

We were at the beginning together, seeing the fact that we have nothing to do with each other. We don’t even know each other. I was just this silly high school girl, with curiosity and a kind of crazy adventurous side of me. It sounds like one of those classic songs, the ones that last forever. This story definitely would start because of that song. The song, ‘our’ theme song, the Richard Marx and Donna Lewis song called “At the Beginning”. Yup, it was kind of your secret Nic for like SEVEN YEARS. Hellooooo…..
Its seven freaking years ago, and I just knew it because I forward my blog post to you? Okay, something’s WRONG here!!!

Now, that it’s so pointless nostalgic thing that I found out, more than 7 years from that fact. It totally freaked me out. It was so sweet that you remember, the song, that your friend played at the moment you receive my first text message. You know, I'm kinda thinking, what will happen if you told me this like, maybe in 2005, when we met. At my boarding house or at McD Dago Square. Will I be, the lady, the one that is there with you now?

I will answer that now.

No. Well, maybe you're gonna say, "What?".
Here's the thing, he was always Mr. Impossible to me, since maybe six years ago. He was never my prince. He was my soul mate. Yes, another part of me that stay's in he's body. He was the person who always says,"You really did a good job there, you better do something bigger". He was the one that helped me through my darkest year, my 1st grade in high school. Well, I actually knew him on the 2nd grade, but he actually give me the spirit, the courage to move on. He was the one who told me to read "Supernova:Ksatria, Putri dan Bintang Jatuh", which turns to be my first Indonesian Novel aside Lupus series. So, he really did something to my life. Something so good, that I would never make him my boyfriend. But, it's not that I never think of that. It's the thing that just went through my mind. But, I always know will never happen.

It's just like marrying my cousin, well, it's okay, but it'll be weird. Seriously. Everyone will start whispering at us. So, I'm happy that you're happy. That you have a cute son now. That you have a bright career in my dream company, Telkomsel. It will always stay that way.

Now, we will continue with the first thing. Me, turning from nobody to somebody. Yes, it happened yesterday. It was my first meeting as The Secretary of RSUD AA's ISO team. Well, I was really nervous about this. Because my boss was in Jakarta, for some other thing related to the hospital. It freaked me out also by the way. It's was like, loosing your general in a war. Hahahahaha... LOL! :D

But, it went sooooooo well, maybe just a few point below excellent. We got all the compliment. They even said my name out loud, like three times. To appreciate what I already prepared. How ready we are for this certification process. We kinda nailed it.

It's like, yesterday I was dr.A's daughter. Today I'm ME. The person who knows all the thing about ISO 9001:2008. Okay, yesterday was like one of those lecture that Mr.Togar or Mr.Mursyid or even Mr.Dermawan did. It was a one and a half semester packed into one week. Seriously, it was like living another week of my college years. Dealing with RATs, big projects, and of course doing my final project once more.

But this is what I really wanna do. Working hard for the things that I like. Doing things that I understand. Doing the thing that only I know how to do it. I like being 'out of the box'. Because I always think that way. I always try to put myself on other people's shoes. And here I am starting my career at a hospital. The biggest in Pekanbaru. Not as a doctor as I dreamed of when I was a kid. But as a future leader. The 'high achievers'. The person that SBM has shaped me. I never give up, that's why, I WILL ALWAYS WIN THE GAME!

Cheers,

ZaZa ^_^

Definitely, Maybe. From My Side

Maybe you guys know the movie, it's called Definitely, Maybe. The story is kinda unique to me. It's about a little girl, whose parents got divorced and lives with her dad. One day she was curious about her dad's love life and why he and her mom was separated.

Things are getting getting more interesting when dad told her the story, but it was in some kind of riddle. She called it "Mystery Love Story". It was hilarious you know. I'm definitely starting to love the movie at the very moment.

But maybe, one big thing that I got from this movie is, you never really get over you first love. Even if it's only a fling or a teenage crush. You definitely won't ever get over it.
Well, especially for me. I never really forget about my junior-high crush. But it gets better when I found this guy, whose like 1000 time better than my first crush. Well, he kinda taught me how to be me, the person who writes this. It's surely was not a fling or a teenage crush at all. It's because I never really truly get over him, until today. He's just incomparable to all those guys I've ever met. It has been like 7, SEVEN, years since I first knew him. And it became worst when I first met him like 4 years ago. Well, maybe it's because he's way older than me. Things will get so amazing if we hear and learn new things. At least for me. But here's the thing. There's always a bunch of guys trying to approach us, with many kinds of excuse. But for me, I only kept like less than half a dozen in my heart. For now, there's only FIVE.
The first guy would be, my teenage-crush. Who's always been around, until college.
Second would definitely be my all time favorite boy friend / online friend. Well to honour him let's just say his name, Tronic.
Third is...hmmm...let's see. My one only Best'boy'friend ever. Elvin. Haha. Kinda interesting story I had with this one.
Fourth. I'm still confused of which one should go 1st. Well, let's make it my last semester partner in college. He was like very dependent to me that time.
Finally, it's my classmate since the 1st semester till the 9th semester back in college. I just met him like 2 days ago and realize that, he's somebody. He's gonna be 'big' one day. He's a very idealist kind of guy, he's so poetic (hahaha...this one kinda tickles), and I just knew him the whole three years of college. I mean we spent most of our 2nd year being a partner in Palapa. Well, he's definitely got sumthin'.

Well, if you knew me. You'll know that, I don't fall easily. It'll take like a hundred effort to bring me down. These past two years for example. I never really had a thing for guys. They just short of come and go. But when I met or get in touch again w/ my old 'boy'friends. They just seem to get better.
Actually, a few months ago I had a crush for a guy. He's a junior doctor back at the Hospital. It's kinda weird how he attract me. I was at the mosque, I was just waiting for the zuhur prayers to start when I heard him do the Qomad. My head flew right up and there I saw him. It was such a nice voice anyway. Then, about a week later, I heard the nurse where kinda chatting and I overheard that he is a muallaf. Well, that's kinda sumthin, right? But, it'll take him to do a bunch of things before he gets on my list. Hoho..

So, don't get over your past. Live it and learn from it. You'll become a better you. You'll be a more fabulous person than you've ever dreamed of. I'll guarantee that. ^_^

As can you see, life is always a wonderful journey..
Http://awonderfuljourney.blogspot.com

Me Cutey Chubby- Tomato-Like ALI!

Miss you soooo Aliiii...

Ali pake baju kaos putih kaya' papanya

Find Me Replacement & I'm Gone

Sounds mad. Well kind of. It's just that I felt some people doesn't want me around anymore. A bit sensitive, maybe. But that's how it sounds. They kinda told me, to let go of the job. But my boss told me to stay. So, who should I listen to?

On the other hand, I felt that I'm capable in handling them both. I definitely can multitask. I'm really good at it. I had two jobs since January anyway.

So, if I think I can't handle the workloads anymore. You guys will be the first to know. Find sumone else, and I'm gonna go. That's for sure.

A Marvelous Weekend!!

I had a really fun weekend!! I went to Jakarta and meet up with my cousins and some friends.. these are some pics of the marvelous weekend... :)

@d lift of grha165

Thanks yet Sorry...

Thanks for the love you shared with me...
Thanks for the time you tried to squeeze in for me..
Thanks for the laughs we really enjoyed..
Thanks for believing in me, that I'd become something big, someday...
Thanks for the moments, all those wonderful thoughts of you cheered me up everytime..
Thanks for the little steps and big things you've done for me, all the way...

I do love you, in many ways..

But,
Sorry for being such a bad friend
Sorry for the little things that hurt your feelings..
Sorry for the rude and careless word I said..
Sorry for the tears you dropped for me and my ignorant behaviour..
Sorry for not being there for you when you're down..
Sorry for the memories, the ones where I'm being selfish and intolerant..
Sorry for not saying the truth when it'll hurt you even worse..
Sorry, that's all I can say..

I do love you, in many many different ways... :-)

***
To all my dearest friends... Thanks and Sorry..

Switch to Plan B

Yup, the decision is canceled for a while.

Now I got more challenge and opportunities here now, right where I'm now. I got an offer to do a research and a chance to become a CPNS. Nice right? So, for now, at least till the end of the year, I'll still be here for my family and for the sake of my future...

Cheers,
Zaza

I've Decided

Yes, I've decided to move back to Bandung on Juli or August. Because I was thinking that the job I have here doesn't give me anything in terms of knowledge. It only adds up my knowledge on other important health stuffs, especially around HIV/AIDS.
So, I decided to apply as tutor in School of Business and Management ITB while waiting for my graduate studies to start. So now I'm preparing my self for that, finding better boarding house, better way of living, better things than last time I was in Bandung.

So, guys just wait for me yaa...
See you soon...^_^

Loads of Happiness, Made the Stress Go Away

Yesterday I was too excited about he news that my big brother was accepted by BPK, that when knowing I didn't pass the administration selection of Pertamina, I was feeling more than OKAY.

Well, I thinks we just have to be Ikhlas about everything bad happening to us. But everything depends on the situation. If it wasn't fair for us, I really need like, hmmm, months to let go. But if the situation is like this, I'll let go, just like that.

Now, I don't really want to think about failing, but better find the good thing (hikmah) about what happened. Never hesitate that Allah SWT has always planned something much more better than this. So, just be more patient, don't get stressed out, and keep up the effort needed in achieving your goal.

Good luck!

On Being Thankful

Tadi siang sehabis zuhur, saya ikut pengajian di mesjid di RS AA Pekanbaru. Trus, si ustadz berceramah tentang 'Bersyukur'. Dia bilang kalau kita bersyukur pada Allah, itu untuk diri kita sendiri, bukan untuk orang lain. Jadi selalu bersyukurlah atas apa yang kita punya dan kita dapatkan. Berbaik sangkalah pada Allah, walaupun semua itu menurut kita hal yang sangat buruk.

Untuk berpikir begini, sangat sulit, saya juga tau kalau berubah, menjadi apapun itu hal yang sangat sangat sulit dilakukan. Jadi bersyukurlah, apapun yang kita miliki sekarang, itulah yang menurut ALLAH SWT yang paling baik untuk kita.

Semakin banyak kita mengucapkan "Alhamdulillah", Insya Allah semua usaha kita dimudahkan...Amin ya rabbal alamin... ^_^

Kind of Hurts

Yeah, it kind of hurt my feelings when seeing someone I knew die. Or even imagining that someone will pass away if I don't give them any help.

Today the medicine crisis in the clinic continues. It became obvious that the stock from the supplier is ZERO. What a marvelous condition.

How can those people continue living a healthy and normal life without those medicines?

Why can the government doesn't care enough to supply them immediately?

I'm just curious. Is it money? Is it bureaucracy? Or a human error?

We don't know yet. Hopefully the crisis will end soon and they can live a long healthy and normal life, amien!

Second Chance

Have you ever been given a second chance by God or other people around you?

Lots of people says, chance doesn't came twice in our life. But I've experienced a time when second chance comes.
Well, if you read my previous posts about me being rejected by several companies, I got a second chance by one of them.

I got a news from a friend about two months ago about this re-call. The company was calling us to have a re-test on our medical check-ups. So I flew far away from Pekanbaru to Jakarta just to follow this test, leaving my two jobs here.

But, maybe I'm not destined to be working there. I fail again.
It really hurts this time, a friend said, "It's worst than a broken heart". Hahaha....
She's definitely right, I can say for sure.

After a bit of thinking, I may say that, this is the way that Allah tells me that working there now isn't what I supposed to do. I really sure that Allah has prepared a good thing, an even better things to do in the near future. Hopefully, amien!

Details in the Fabric

by Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

***
Don't panic, stay calm and face the world with optimism and positive mind.
hopefully you'll get the helping hands that you need...:)

Heartbreaking Scenes

At the beginning of this year, January 2009, I started to work at a clinic that serve people with HIV/AIDS. Well, I accepted the offer just so that I have a routine activity everyday. Not just sleeping, eating and watch TV every day...

The offer came from my mom's colleagues, they needed a hand on doing the administration stuffs in the clinic, so I took the opportunity.

The first month was quite hard for me, I listened to their problems, but have to keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone outside the clinic. Make reports that seems to be easy but needs accuracy and patients in making it.

The second month became better, but when I attend the Monitoring and Evaluation Training my head got very dizzy. There was several mistakes in the reports from Oct 2008 till Jan 2009, which means I need to revise them all...HUFF!!

But for me the hardest part of this job is not to involve to much emotion. Every day I see different expression, anger and reaction from all those suspected clients.
Sometimes I feel really sorry for them, but on the other hand I also think that some of the deserves to have disease.
I feel really sorry for wives who got the disease/virus from their spouse. They didn't do anything wrong in the past. Just marrying the wrong guy, the one that do dangerous and risky activities that caused the virus to come.
I feel so so bad for babies, little children who had the virus since they were born, from their parents. They look so sad, weak and made me wanna cry... :(

Well, now I'm getting used to all those situation.

So guys, I'd like to tell you that it's better you do a save sex, not using non sterile syringe, don't go to 'localization' (a.k.a rumah bordil) and have a safe and healthy life. I'm sure you will be just fine...

I'm Officially an Aunt! Haha :D

Yes, that's right!
Last week, March 4th 2009, my sister-in-law gave birth to a cute baby boy...
We named him ALI RASYID.
It felt awkward at the beginning, but delightful and amazing now. It's like a miracle seeing him grow every day since in his mom's tummy till he was brought up to the world..
Well, I've an aunt since...mmm..let's see, elementary school? Hahaha..yes, I'm the 2nd youngest grandchild in my mom's family, so my cousins are old enough to have children, that's why I've been an aunt for quite a long time.
Now, I just wanna share my love to little ALI and pray that he will grow to become a nice, bright and cheerful boy, amin..

New Year Resolution

The year 2008 nearly ends..
There's so many things that I have experienced this year, good things, bad things, happiness, sadness, pride, disappointment, all those feelings that mad me a better person.

So, in this upcoming year, of course I'm really hoping to become an even better person.
Getting closer to all my dreams, or even reach one or more of them. Learn more new things, get more knowledge in lots of new things. Become more religious, do more ibadah, learn much more about Islam to have a more beautiful life...
Try to accept all the consequences from all the things that I've done before.
Be Healthy, do exercises, more sports, eat right, in order to have a healthier and fit body.
Loving my family and friends more and more. Make new friendships.

Hopefully every little thing in my life would be more and more better, Amin...

Where did those feelings go?
I don't know
I just realize that those feelings is not here anymore
maybe it is still there, but just a small tiny thing there...

About a year ago, I was really hoping those feeling would go away
But why I'm questioning where it is now?
I don't know

I just didn't feel the same way
when I see him online
when I get the chance to talk with him
There's no more heart beating faster
No more gladness to know he's okay

Well, maybe this is the time
The time it goes away
The time that I would feel that way for another person...

Where Rainbow Ends

Beberapa hari ini saya sedang membaca sebuah novel berjudul "Where Rainbow Ends" (Di Ujung Pelangi).
Buku ini bercerita tentang persahabatan dua orang anak sejak mereka kecil sampai dewasa, Rosie Dunne dan Alex Stewart. Mereka bersahabat sejak berumur 5 tahun sampai mereka sama-sama dewasa, berkeluarga dan punya anak. Selama persahabatan mereka yang bertahun-tahun itu mereka selalu saling bercerita tentang kehidupan mereka walaupun terpisah di dua benua. Alex tinggal di Boston, Amerika Serikat, sedangkan Rosie tinggal di Dublin, Irlandia. Selama bertahun-tahun itu pula mulai tumbuh perasaan lain selain rasa sayang seorang sahabat. Saat menyadari perasaan ini Rosie pun menunjukkan nya pada Alex, tapi sayangnya saat itu Alex telah memiliki Sally yang akan dinikahinya. Tak lama setelah itu Rosie pun bertemu dengan Greg yang juga kan dinikahinya.
Beberapa tahun sesudahnya mereka masih terus berkirim kabar, berbagi cerita tentang berbagai hal. Sampai akhirnya Alex dan Sally memutuskan untuk berpisah. Rosie selalu menghibur Alex saat masalh ini datang. Sampai akhirnya Alex menyadari bahwa ia sangat mencintai Rosie. Saat Alex menulis surat untuk mengungkapkan perasaannya ini, surat ini tidak sampai pada Rosie, malah dibaca oleh Greg yang saat itu langsung marah pada Alex dan memintanya untuk menjauhi Rosie. Tapi itu tidak dilakukannya, ia tetap berhubungan dengan Rosie melalui surat, email dan telepon, tapi ia tidak pernah lagi mengungkit-ungkit perasaannya itu. Akhirnya Bagaimana? Saya juga belum tahu, karena saya belum menyelesaikannya...

Tapi cerita ini mengingatkan saya pada kisah saya sendiri. Saya bersahabat dengan seseorang, memang belum selama persahabatan Rosie dan Alex, tapi kami cukup dekat. Bahkan bagi saya dia adalah orang pertama yang akn saya beritahu jika saya menghadapi suatu masalah dan butuh saran.
Dulu, mungkin sekitar enam tahun yang lalu, sahabat saya yang lain mengatakan bahwa si sahabat saya ini menyukai saya, saat itu saya hanya menganggap dia sebagai sahabat, tidak lebih. Jadi saya pun secara tidak langsung menolak dia. Waktu itu kami sempat tidak berhubungan dan berkirim kabar beberapa bulan, mungkin enam bulan, saya juga tidak terlalu ingat. Saat itu saya merasanya sangat kehilangan sahabat saya, ingin bercerita tapi takut masih merasa tidak enak. Tapi Alhamdulillah, akhirnya semua kembali seperti biasa, kami mulai saling berkirm email lagi, ber-SMS, kadang saling telepon. Sampai saat ini dia masih menjadi orang yang paling dulu saya hubungi diantara teman-teman saya jika saya butuh saran. Bahkan kalau saya sedang suka pada seseorang, saya tidak tahu bagaimana perasaannya saat saya bercerita tentang yang satu ini. Penasaran juga. Tapi jujur saja, saat dia becerita tentang perempuan yang sedang didekatinya, ada sedikit rasa cemburu yang saya rasakan. Tapi bagi saya, jika sahabat saya bahagia, saya akan sangat berbahagia...

May our friendship lasts forever...

When I Fall Down, I'll try to Wake Up Again..

"Yesterday morning I was still excited with what's gonna happen...
I have all these dreams in my head..
Now, all I wanna do is runaway from all this mess..
Have a little break..
And try to move on with my life...
I don't know what God has planned for me, but I believe that it must be something a lot better than all of this...
I hope so.."

That was a note I wrote on my cellphone's notepad, the night I got the second bad news.

Well, for some of you that have read my previous posts, maybe you already know that recently I 'm following recruitment processes in some companies. Well I got the last result from them yesterday and the day before.

It turns out that the results are both disappointing.

The first bad news came in the late afternoon on Wednesday. I already saw the main announcement on the message board of the website at noon, but they still haven't posted the list of names of the succeeding candidates. So I waited till the afternoon to see it again. While browsing for other things I always refresh the web page. Then the list came out, I searched, I didn't find my name, I searched it again, none. That time I feel like yelling so much, but I managed to calmed down. After that I pray that I home something good will come, that I'm destined to be working in the other company that I also applied for. But I nearly cried that day.

The next day, which was yesterday, after I had lunch I went back to my room trying to turn on the TV, when my cell phone rings, a new message came. I checked, it was my friend who also followed the recruitment process in the second company, she said that the announcement were already posted on the website. So I hurried turning on the PC, waiting it to turn on, open the browser, and the the website was there. I saw the link to the announcement, I clicked it. Read the main announcement. Search for my name, didn't find it (again), searched again, maybe for about 5 times, still my name wasn't there. This time I really can't help it, I start to cry. But only lasted for a while.
Then I called my Mom to tell her about the second bad news of the week, I failed again. Then I started to cry again.

So this it. What I have done in the last 4 (FOUR) months is such a waste. All the hopes and dreams that I have put by working for either company just vanished right away. Just because a damn medical check up.

Now, I really really need a break..

Then, when I am ready I will work out on what to do next..

And yes, when I fall down, I'll always try to wake up again...


PS.
Thanks for everyone of you that have supported me in the last four months, especially to my Dad, for always being there...
and to my friends for the best wishes and supports...
I will always try again and again, until one day I succeed..
Love u all..

(Masih) Menunggu

Seperti yang pernah saya katakan pada posting yang lalu tentang menunggu, hal ini merupakan salah satu hal yang paling tidak saya sukai. Apapun itu yang sedang saya tunggu. Apalagi menunggu dalam ketidakpastian....Hufff...Sangat menyebalkan. Lebih lagi kalau yang ditunggu itu sesuatu yang menyangkut masa depan, apa yang akan terjadi sebulan setahun atau bahkan lima tahun dari sekarang...makin menyebalkan.

Jadi, di sinilah saya, menunggu dalam ketidakpastian. Menunggu sesuatu yang menyangkut masa depan saya, sesuatu yang menentukan apa yang akan saya lakukan dalam sebulan, setahun atau bahkan lima tahun ke depan.
Yang membuat hal ini makin tidak menyenangkan adalah pihak yang membuat saya menunggu ini tidak memberitahu kapan ketidakpastian ini akan berakhir. Bahkan tidak ada batas waktu tertentu dimana kemungkinan saya akan mendengar dari mereka.

Mungkin kamu bertanya, apa sih sebenarnya yang kamu tunggu? Well, jawabnya mudah, hasil tes sebuah proses panjang rekrutmen pegawai di sebuah BUMN terkemuka.
Jadi proses panjang ini sudah dimulai sejak bulan Juli 2008 ini, yang berarti sudah lebih empat bulan. Dari semua proses panjang itu, Alhamdulillah saya sudah sampai pada tahap akhir, yaitu medical check-up yang dilaksanakan pada tanggal 17 November ini. Pada saat itu mereka tidak memberitahu kami kapan hasil akhir ini akan diberitahukan. Jadilah kami semua, 87 orang ini, menunggu dalam ketidakpastian yang menyebalkan.

Apalagi saat ini, beberapa rekan saya yang juga mengikuti proses ini telah dihubungi oleh pihak perusahaan. Hal ini makin mebuat jantung saya makin berdegup tak menentu.

Saat ini saya hanya bisa terus berdoa dan berharap agar Allah SWT dapat memberikan yang terbaik untuk saya, amin...

Di sisi lain, saya juga mengikuti test di perusahaan lain, yang juga telah sampai pada tahap akhir. Bedanya perusahaan ini memberikan waktu tertentu, kapan kemungkinan palin cepat mereka akan mengumumkan hasilnya. Mereak berkata kami bisa mulai memeriksa website mereka mulai tanggal 20 November ini. Tapi sampai saat ini pengumuman itu masih saja belum ada di website perusahaan itu...

So, I'll just keep hoping, praying, and believing that god has prepared something great and wonderful for me....amin...

Just a Dream

I was dreaming of you last night...

We were walking together
I don't know where we were heading to

Suddenly, I don't know why
You hold my hand
Yes you did
You hold my hand
really really tight

I felt so real

Now, I have a simple question to ask
Have you ever dreamed of me?

A Poetry Book

I don't really like to read poets...I just enjoy to write some...hehehe...
But a small, grayish book, with lots of fruits on it, caught my eye...

The title of that poetry book is "Fruits: Flavors of Life" by Marrysa Tunjung Sari.

So, these are some of my favorite poets from this little book...


***
Stupid Poem

Do you love me?
Just answer my question as simple as the question !

Do you love?
Why so much trouble just for a question ?

Do you love me?
Bullshit with all the sad songs and sentences !
All I need is just an answer for...

Do you love me?
Simply by yes or no
And all the consequence will be all on my side

What is this??!!
You respond a question with a question !

What kind of answer is that !
Okay I will answer yours,
Yes I love you!

And if I don't love you,
I will find the way to love you!

Now,
Do you love me ?


***
Cheap Romance

Don't be nice to me
Without understanding me
Don't ever pity on me
Without seeing me suffer
Don't you talk behind me
Without reading between the lines
Don't ever thank me
Without admitting I'm your friend
Don't even bother to remember me
Only a memory of cheap romance


***
A Mind of Jealousy

I dreamed of you last night
You walked with another woman
Not me I guess
I woke up broken

I dreamed of you again
You kissed that same woman
Definitely not me
....again

***

nice ones right?
try to read it yourself..

Indonesia Book Fair 2008

Yesterday I went to the Indonesia Book Fair at the Plenary Hall, JHCC. There was a lot of book publishers and book stores following that event. They give a lot of discounts for books there, starting from 10% to 70%. That was really a great deal for a book lover like me. I can't save a lot by coming to these event and buying books here.

By coming to this event I was hoping that I could find some good English books, from my favorite authors of course, or any best selling books that some people recommends me to read. But, I didn't find any good English book with a good price. Most of the English book that I want, was sold with a normal price. Hmmmmm....This made me a little upset...Huuff... I searched for them in almost every stands that sells English books. But most of them don't have a really good price. So, I move on to find Indonesian books that I have been targeting to buy, when I went to a bookstore last time.

So, after searching around the Hall for about half an hour, I finally bought one Novel, entitled "Where Rainbows Ends" by Cecelia Ahern. Then I went on searching again, to other stands, then I found a poetry book called "Fruits: Falvor of Life" by Marrysa Tunjung Sari. I've already read half of it, it's good actually.
so, I continue searching, but found nothing interesting. But I remembered that I had an interest on a book at the stand where I bought the first book. So I get back there and bought "Bellamore: A Beautiful Love to Remember" by Karla M. Nashar. Well, I'm happy that I got the books that I wanted.

On that same time, at the same place, there were also a computer exhibition at another hall. So, I also went there to look around. Makes me wanna buy a new iPod nano...huhuhu...(maybe when i got my paycheck!) and also making me wanting those Hi-tech Laptops...hmmm... But at last, I didn't buy anything here.

Then I got lunch and went home.

A Year Ago...

Today, a year ago, was my graduation ceremony day...

It means, it has been a year long since I was officially graduated...
Well, it also means that it has been a year I am unoccupied or jobless..Hahaha...
well not actually jobless, I got part time jobs...
It also been a year full of struggling in recruitment processes, often failing...
But I really hope that this struggle will come to an end eventually.

I'm just hoping and praying for the best to come....

Menunggu...

Menunggu adalah salah satu hal yang paling menyebalkan di dunia...huaaaaa....
apalagi setelah menunggu lama kita mendapatkan berita mengecewakan tentang hal yang sedang kita tunggu.
Ceritanya nih, gw lagi ngikutin proses rekrutmen di salah satu perusahaan besar di Indonesia. Proses rekrutmen ini tergolong amat sangat panjang karena prosesnya terdiri dari 7 (TUJUH) tahap. Can you imagine that!!??!! Hahahaha...Pasti males banget kan ngebayanginnya...hehehe..
Sekarang gw udah ada di tahap ke 5, yaitu wawancara user. Di tahap ini kita di pertemukan dengan beberapa orang HRD dan user kita nantinya kalo diterima kerja di perusahaan ini. Nah, setelah mengetahui kita lolos ke tahap ini melalui website, kita akan dihubungi melalui telepon untuk memberitahukan jadwal wawancara kita.
Pada saat itu gw udah mulai mengalami yang namanya MENUNGGU. Gw kan sempet contact ama temen-temen lain yang juga ikutan test ini, dan beberapa dari mereka udah di hubungi. Itu yang bikin gw panik, bertanya-tanya "Kok gw gak ditelpon-telpon ya?". Sekitar 3 hari setelah pengumuman barulah gw dihubungi via telpon. Gw diberitahu untuk hadir wawancara pada tanggal 23 Oktober 2008 jam 08.00 pagi di gedung management perusahaan tersebut.
Jadi dengan bermodal kepercayaan diri, datanglah gw pada hari tersebut dengan sangat bersemangat. Gw sampai di gedung itu jamg 06.40 (Hahahaha...pagi banget!) Ini sih karena pertimbangan takut macet dan sebagainya lah, bukan karena gw sangat bersemanagat loh...hehehe...
Sesampainya disana penantian gw pun dimulai...
Setelah menunggu sekitar 1 jam, akhirnya ada seorang petugas yang datang menghampiri kita. Memberikan beberapa form yang harus kami isi. Gw dan teman-teman seperjuangan gw sampe bertanya-tanya, "apa mereka gak nyimpen data kita ya? sampe kita harus ngisi data diri berkali-kali gini...". Tapi kami gak bisa berbuat apa-apa selain ngisi tu form.
Penantian pun berlanjut. Selesai mengisi form, kami diinstruksikan untuk menuju ke lantai 3, tempat ruang wawncara berada. Setelah menuggu beberapa lama, kami di beri daftar absen. Di list itu nama gw ada di urutan 12 dari 14 orang...HUaaaaa...udah bete aja gw, pasti lama banget tuh nunggu nya...
Saat menunggu giliran wawancara, gw sempet kenalan ama peserta test yang lain. Ternyata yang wawancara hari ini semua dari Ekonomi, ada yang akuntansi, ada yang manajemen. Kita semua dari uni yang berbeda-beda. Jadi obrolan pun jadi beragam.
Di sela-sela waktu kami menunggu, datang lah sebuah kabar dari seorang rekan yang sudah selesai di wawancara. Dia mengabarkan bahwa kami semua yang diwawancara di minggu kedua ini sudah pasti tidak diterima sebagai MT (Management Trainee), Ugh...Sebel gak sih dengernya...kita semua hanya ditawari jabatan Fungsional, which is Staff Biasa. Hahaha...that was the phrase of the day. Semuanya jadi kehilangan semangat dan mulai bete. Tapi untungnya ada salah satu dari kami yang mulai bikin joke-joke tentang kenyataan kami gak akan jadi MT, ini bikin suasana jadi cair kembali. Semua jadi tampak lebih fresh lagi. Setelah ngobrol ngalor ngidul lagi, gak terasa waktu udah menunjukkan pukul 12.00 siang. Salah satu pewawancara mengabarkan kalo kami akan istirahat dan akan dimulai lagi pukul 12.30. Jadilah kami pergi untuk istirahat, sholat dan makan siang. Setelah sholat, ternyata udah jam 12.20, jadilah gak sempet makan siang. Akhirnya kita langsung ke atas lagi. Untungnya tadi sempet dibagikan snack, jadi lumayan ada ganjel..hehehe...
Lalu, penantian pun berlanjut. Ternyata wawancara baru dimulai lagi pukul 13.00...ngaret setengah jam, sangat Indonesia lah yaa...
Tiap orang yang keluar dari ruangan pasti langsung kami serbu dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan "ditanyain apa aja tadi" "ditawarin ke bagian apa" "Loe jawabnya gimana?" yaaa something like that...
Akhirnya sampai juga giliran gw, jam udah menunjukkan pukul 15.00...hahaha...udah keburu lecek banget gw...
Di dalam ruangan, gw ditanya soal interest gw di bagian mana, trus pengetahuan gw tentang interest gw itu. Mostly, gw bisa jawab, walaupun ada beberapa yang agak terbata-bata.

So, in conclusion gw telah menunggu selama sekitar 8 jam untuk sebuah wawancara yang hanya berlangsung sekitar 20 menit. Hahahaha....

I hope it all worth it, and I'll be accepted in this company...Hopefully....

I Read a Lot!

Yup, in the last two months I read a lot of books.
Lets count. I guess I read about 7 (seven) books. That's quite a lot. For me who used to read only one book in weeks or even months. Hahaha...

Those books are:
* The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
* Ciao Italia: Catatan Petualangan Empat Musim by Gama Harjono
* Divortiare by Ika Natassa
* A Very Yuppy Wedding by Ika Natassa (also)
* Laskar Pelangi by Andrea Hirata
* The Naked Traveler by Trinity
* Winter in Tokyo by Ilana Tan

From all those books, my favorite will be Divortiare and Laskar Pelangi. Both has very different stories.
Divortiare is about a young talented woman, who has just got divorce from his husband. But, she still cannot really forget about his ex-husband and keep on comparing all the men near him with his ex. It is a quite thick novel, but I finished it in less than 24 hours. It's kind of amazing that I used to finish reading one book for a long time, and I can finish this one in less than a day. Hahaha...

The other one is Laskar Pelangi, one of Indonesia's Best Seller novel. This novel is about, the life and education of children in Belitong. How they try to let the world know that they and their school exist. How they learn thing in a really poor school. What they were doing together as Laskar pelangi. This is a really good book. It inspires people to care more about education in Indonesia, especially in the rural areas, in the villages.

Well, I'll just keep on reading books. Lots and lots more I guess...

Lucky

by Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

***
One of my favorite song recently, heuheu..

I'm 22 and Still Counting...

Yup, three days ago was my 22nd birthday...

First of all, I would like to say...Alhamdulillah, thanks Allah for the wonderful 22 years that I have had, and I hope the upcoming years would be more wonderful and I could give all my best to my surroundings...

This year, my birthday starts with my cellphone ringing in the middle of the night, hehehe... this rarely happens, used to be only SMSs in the middle of the night. It was my cousin, MbAchy and her friends...thanks guys for the prayers...then I continue to sleep, when I woke up in the morning, my mom and dad greet me Happy Birthday, and i found some SMSs in my cellphone mostly from my friends...and during the day it still comes...

On my birthday, like every other birthday I have had, my mom cooked me Nasi Kuning, Fried Chicken, Scrambled bean curd and sambel...hmmmm yummm....

In the afternoon, I went to hang out with my best friends, Elvin, Citra, Rahmi and Dito. We went to one of the Mall in Pekanbaru. We had a late lunch there, and just window shop. Until one moment when Elvin told us to separate, me with him and Dito, then Rahmi with Citra...It was so obvious that they want to find a present for me...hehehe...
After that we went to Rahmi's house, because her mom and dad will go out of town so she has to meet them. We prayed Maghrib there. Then we went to Citra's. We spent time chatting and taking pictures there. Here, they gave me the present, I got a really nice tote bag..Thank you guys...
Then, Elvin and Dito took me home, I thank them for the day...

This was one of the memorable birthday I had, simple things happen but nice.

I'm really hoping that all my dreams will come true and I will have wonderful upcoming years...

"Sorry, not talking to you now..."

sedih deh...
tadi kan gw dateng ke acara buka bersama di tempat sepupu gw...sepupu gw itu kebetulan kemaren baru berulang tahun. gw kesana bareng sepupu gw yang lain, yang rumahnya deketan ama gw, pacarnya dan seorang teman nya yang lain. di sana sepupu gw yang berulang tahun itu ngundang temen-temennya dia. beberapa gw kenal, karena pernah beberapa kali jalan bareng.
Nah, ada salah satu dari temennya sepupu gw itu yang, kalo menurut gw sih, cukup akrab ama gw. kita sering comment-comment-an di Friendster, chatting di YM...pokonya cukup sering contact lah. biasanya ada aja yang mau diobrolin...
Tapi...tadi pas ketemu...dia emang dengan bersemangat menyapa gw..."Hai Zaza..." gw juga mbales dengan semangat banget...hehehe...Sesudah itu gw beranggapan kalo gw ama dia bakal ngobrol apa gitu, at least nanya kabar deh...but, guess what...bahkan bilang "apa kabar?" juga gak...huhu...perasaan gw antara sedih, sebel dan kecewa...
kok dia gitu ya? padahal biasanya kita punya aja topik buat diobrolin...eh masa pas ketemu, seems like there's nothing to talk about...

well, there's nothing i can say...

Soalnya SUSAH, Sumpah!!

Hahaha...
tadi gw ikutan tes CPNS Deplu...

and as predicted,,,,,soalnya bikin puyeng...

mana ujiannya jam 2 siang sat lagi puasa, kebayangkan betapa lemes dan ngantuknya saat ngerjain soal-soal itu...huhuhu...
jadi soalnya terdiri dari 4 bagian. bagian pertama itu, multiple choice, which is, can be guessed...hahaha..i'm not saying it was easy, but at least i can guess the answers..hahahaha...bagian kedua, itu isian singkat, nah ini nih bagian yang menurut gw paling susah, soalnya gw banyakan gak tau jawabannya...jadilah gw cuma ngisi setengah, dengan beberapa jawaban asal...bagian ketiga dan keempat itu uraian, satu bagian berbahasa indonesia yang lainnya berbahasa inggris...tadinya gw kira bagian ini bakal susah banget, ternyata gak juga, soalnya banyakan pertanyaannya kita disuruh ngasih saran atau pendapat...

well, i don't have high expectations in this test...
just hoping for the best..

wish me luck! :)

asking, "Does he ever love me?"

Well, this question has been on my mind for a while...
But now, I think that I don't have the right to ask him...
because, everyone knows, now he has someone beside him...

but, keep wondering in my mind...
"Does he ever love me?", even for a minute? a second? or even less...
maybe just slightly came to his mind that he loves me...

well, this will be an unanswered question from now on...

Ramadhan Segera Tibaaa...

Yup, Ramadhan sudah di depan mata....
Mari sambut dengan gembiraaa...Yaaayyy...

Alhamdulillah gak sampe 1 minggu lagi udah Ramadhan lagi, udah saatnya kita mulai bersiap-siap untuk beribadah sepenuh hati, meluangkan waktu untuk lebih banyak beribadah dan menyucikan hati untuk memaafkan semua orang yang pernah bersalah pada kita.

Mudah-mudahan kita semua bisa menjalani dan melaksanakan semua ibadah di bulan ini dengan hati yang bersih sampai di hari kemenangan.

Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa di bulan Ramadhan taun ini yaa semuanyaa...
Smoga amal ibadah kita dapat diterima Allah SWT...

Salah

by Cokelat

Usahku menepis rasa
Rindu yang mendera jiwa
Kau buat aku tersiksa

Bayangnya trus menghampiri
kemanapun ku coba pergi
kemana harus sembunyi

[hooww wooouuu...]
Lemahku lemah
Tak berdaya

Reff:
Salahkah bila
Ku tak henti mengharapkannya
[hooww woouuu...]
Meskipun akhirnya
Ku tahu dia hanya membuatku terluka

Bayangnya trus menghampiri
kemanapun ku coba pergi
oh,adakah dia perduli

lemahku lemah
tak berdaya

[howw wooouuu...]

****

Keep feeling this way
don't know how to end it...

A Weekend to Remember...

Yup, last weekend was really fun!!!

I went to Bandung on Friday afternoon, planning to meet my college friends and my cousins.

On Saturday I went to my friend's house, kaka Dian, and after that we head to Putri's house. We stayed there for a while, while chatting to update everything that has happened in our lives. later, Ayu and Gagay came. After that we went out to dinner at Warung Pasta.
After that, I joined my cousins at Paris Van Java. There we Karaoke...hehehe...well, this time it's not really fun because there were too many people we don't know there, which was my cousins friend. After that, we went to Madtari to have a late night dinneer...hehehe....
With full stomach, we had photo session at dago street, where there was a writing of "bdg".

The next day, we went to get a train ticket for my cousins and after that we had breakfast at Bubur Ayam Zaenal.
Later in the afternoon, my cousin's friend, Jawa, and my other cousin's boyfriend joined us. Then we went to Secret Factory Outlet. we were just window shopping. After that, we had snack time..yippie...we had Ice Durian, which was really delicious! After that we go to a photo studio to get some photo shot. it was great! after that we had dinner at Bebek Darmo. Then, we do some more karaoke...hahaha...to fulfill our disappointment on the previous day. after that we were preparing a surprise for my cousin, Icha's birthday. We set some scenario to make it succeed. We did it at Atmosphere Cafe. It was really fun. We all pushed her to a fish pod...hehehe...she was very upset and made us all wet. bad news was, both he cell phone was broken.

On monday, we were getting ready to go back to jakarta, with really heavy heads and eyes. because we got to bed really late the previous night. my two cousins went back using train. while i was using a shuttle service back to Jakarta.

So that was a nice weekend to remember...

Just an update on my so called life...

well, it's been quite a while since i wrote on this lovely blog....
hehehe...

nothing significant has happened in that 'while'...

I'm just still searching and struggling for the right job for me and my future. While doing that, I asked for permission from my current employer, where I teach there once a week, well I didn't tell them that I'm having tests here and there for another job, I just told them that I will be out of town for a while doing some personal matter. it's been three weeks since I said that. I don't know what they are thinking now...

During this three weeks, I've had a chance to have a trip to Bandung. OOouughh...how I missed that city...I spent about four days there. I contacted some friends and met one of them. I met Bunga, my college friend. Got some news updates on my friends. Well, some of them were heading abroad to gain their master's degree. which i envy so so much. I also wanted to go abroad and get more knowledge out there. I also met my housemates, really missed those moments when we were still living together.

Now, I'm still here in Jakarta. Waiting for results of the tests I've followed. Keep praying for the best results. I just wish to get what's best for me...

Do You Remember??

Do you remember?
Those wonderful moments...
The ones that was filling our days...
When rain pour down to our heads...
Makes us all wet...
But we always put on our happy faces
Those times when we run as fast as we could to be on time for our classes...
Those wonderful break times that we spent touring the campus, trying new places to eat, finding new fun places, or was just looking around...

Do you remember?
The times when we laugh and cry together...
When we argue on lot of things...
When we do things that we always love...
When we hangout or go shopping...
Those moments when we just sit and look around...
To seek for any eye catching views...

Do you remember?
All those beautiful days, that I hope will happen again one day....

He was My Obsession...Part II

The time goes by, we just send SMS to each other once in a while, not often. Sometimes we accidentally met on the cyber world, greet each other, asking for updates on our lives... but, as the time goes by, those times becomes more seldom... This makes me sad... but sometimes when i missed him i just send a "Hello" to him by SMS...

Then, one afternoon... i was taking a nap in my friend's room and left my cell phone in my own room...after i woke up, i checked my cell phone, there was "1 missed call", i checked. and i was surprised, it was HIM! then, i sent him an SMS, asking about the call. then he said that he's in Bandung and asked me the address of my boarding house, he wants to come and visit me...HUUAAAAA....I'M SO HAPPY!!!!
After that i got change, so that I'll be ready when he arrives... i waited for him in our common room, always looking outside waiting for him to come, still holding my cell phone. then, he called, asking the exact position of my place. and yes, he was standing there, in front of the gate. smiling at me. and said "halo...glad to finally meet you..." we shake hands...huhuhuhu.... while waiting for maghrib time, we have a chit chat, nice updates on our lives, but i guess everything was a lot different, i just lost my words, he keeps on asking me to talk about my life. but, i was just so amazed that time, i still thought that this was only a dream....
a dream come true i guess...

then, maghrib comes... he goes to pray at the small mosque nearby, because boys are not allowed in our rooms, while i pray in my room...

then, he comes back... ask me if i am hungry.. then we had dinner at McD Dago...huhuhu...such a memorable place... from thsi dinner i know that he really like water..hehehe... during dinner, we also chat a lot, even i'm still a bit quite... but still nice...
then, he say he have to go, he stays in a hotel quite far from Dago, and said that he will go back to jakarta the next day... so that was our meeting...

the next day, we still message each other by SMS...

then, we loose contact for about a month, when i opened his FS profile and found out that he was seeing someone...hmmm...i just got nothing to say that time... so i just message him and congratulate him on his relationship with this girl...

about a year later... i was at my campus comp room, checking my email and FS, i saw a new photo on his FS...ohh my god... it was a wedding photograph...yes it was true since i clarified everything to him...
i was really shocked that time, having this kind of news makes me confused...

well, that moment i just want to forget him and my obsession... but while i'm trying it became harder and harder....

now, he's just part of my past... i continued living and loving my life...

but, he's still there...
somewhere in my heart...

Til we meet again

At last we meet again
Even only for a while

share some stories
seems you are happy with your new life now
I haven't start mine
but, I hope I will be as happy as you are

I've prepared something for you but I guess it isn't the right time
so I'll save it for later
for the right moment

so, til we meet again...

He was my obsession...

It all started when i was in my second year of senior high school. it started when i see my chair mate’s cell phone. there was an interesting name in the phonebook. his name was Troy. a unique name i guess. then i saved his number. i didn’t do anything to the number for weeks. one day i really have nothing to do and opened my phone book, then i found his number. a silly thought come to my mind. yes, i’m going to give him a missed called...Hahahaha....after several times i did that. comes one SMS. it’s him, he texted, “hi, who’s this? sorry i don’t have your number in my phone book...” so i replied, “hi, this is Zaza, i got your number from a friend, you are Troy (not his real name), right?”... “Yes, nice to know you then...hmmm, i don’t really like SMSs, why don’t we just use emails, we then we can share pics, how bout it? here’s my email troya@yahoo.com (not his real email either)”....”Okay, mine is aziska_06@yahoo.com”... “don’t forget to send me ur pic...”.

that’s how it all started, that evening i called him and had a little chat. recently i know that he just graduated from college in electrical engineering from ITB, the best institute of techonology in Indonesia. Woowww...that was my dream campus...and knowing him encourages me more to study there.

days later we started to send emails to each other. it was always nice long emails, with our daily stories, our backgrounds and fun stuffs to share. those years was really great for me. to have some one to share with, after along time having no company. he was always nice and cheerful. but, the emails becomes seldom, just once in weeks. that’s when he started to get a job. i was really happy that he got his first job, eventhough it wasn’t his dream job. those days, i felt that he likes me, even when we never met each other. he always come around, anytime in my life, stays in my heart for along time....

he was one of the reason why i decided to go to ITB to continue my studies that time, and i never regret that decision of mine... he was always been my supporter, he gives me a lot of supports and spirit...

during our three years cyber relationship, we never met. we just sent SMS, emails and call each other. until one afternoon, he messages me. saying “Za, i’m in bandung now, can we meet? i really wanted to see you personally...” okay, i’m like, SHOCKED!! after years, this time comes. that was my first year of college. but i said, the weather is too hot outside and i don’t wanna go alone, so he said “why don’t u ask ur friend to accompany you” but there’s like no one wanting to go on a hot afternon like that... so i gave up, and didn’t meet him...OOOUUUGGGHHH...that’s sucks!!

When a Man Lost a Women; a Novel by Ita Sembiring

It's a nice book, it has poets in the beginning of every chapter..these are my favorites...

"Tetapi...coba tanyakan padanya, mengapa sudi dipecundangi cinta. Yakinlah, laki-laki itu pasti tertawa. Menertawakan pertanyaanmu yang dianggapnya bodoh, lalu bekata, 'Kalau kau pernah mengecap cinta, kau tak akan pernah bertanya.'"

"Palingkanlah matamu daripadaku, sebab aku menjadi bingung karenanya."

"Seperti makanan enak-enak yang disajikan kepada mulut terkatup, demikianlah pesajian yang di tempatkan diatas kubur."

"Jangan menyerahkan kepada kesedihan, dan jangan pula menyiksa dirimu dengan disengaja."

"Karena mereka tidak dapat tidur bila tidak berbuat jahat. Kantuk mereka lenyap bila mereka tidak membuat orang tersandung."

"Air yang banyak tak dapat memadamkan cinta, sungai-sungai tak dapat menghanyutkannya."

"Ceritakanlah kepadaku, jantung hatiku, di mana Kakanda menggembalakan domba, di mana kakanda membiarkan domba-domba berbaring pada malam hari."

Saya Bukan Manusia Sempurna

ya, hanya itu yang dapat saya ucapkan saat ini
saat orang - orang menuntut kesempurnaan dari saya

saya tidak bisa focus pada satu hal, saya akan melakukan banyak hal, banyak rencana dalam satu waktu

saya punya mimpi besar tentang hidup saya 5 - 10 tahun lagi. hanya mereka yang mengerti saya yang bisa memahami nya.

mereka yang tidak, hanya akan bilang, "ah, gak usah muluk - muluk" tapi bagi saya ini sebuah keinginan untuk jadi lebih baik.

saya selalu berpikir, banyak hal yang bisa saya perbuat untuk orang2 yang telah mengisi hidup saya, hanya yang ada sedikit kesempatan untuk mewujudkannya. hidup terus berlanjut, gak mudah untuk melalui nya.

tapi ini hanya sebuah pernyataan, bukan perlawanan, hanya bercerita, bukan menyebar berita.

Big Girls Don't Cry

by Fergie

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

La Da Da Da Da Da
***

Yupz...we do not cry in front of alot of people..
we just need a time alone and have our own time..

Kangen kalian semua...

Kangen suasananya...
Kangen gelak tawanya
Kangen becandaannya
kangen jalan - jalannya
kangen cerita - ceritanya
Kangen kebiasaan kita
menjelajahi kampus tercinta
mencari 'pemandangan' yang menyejukkan mata
dan hati kita
Bahagia, tawa, canda dan duka
Yang telah kita lalui bersama...

One of the Toughest Part in Life: Finding the Right Job

Well, this journey starts at a part of my life where i was on my final year of college.

yes, it was when the career service team of SBM starts to tell us to start to figure out where we're going to work when we graduate, what short of job we really want and all that kind of stuffs.

well, my journey starts when i applied for P&G, i think it was in the beginning of 2006. i did all the things that i should do, but the internet in ITB was so lame and pathetic, so it made things worser... in this first journey, I FAILED!

then, i can't really remember which one was the second.
during those times i was always applying for nearly all job offered by the SBM Career Service. Until the time on July 2007 when they held the 1st SBM's Career Fair. I applied to 10 companies out of 12 (i guess).

after that i always checked my SBM email and apply for the companies that interest me.

about a month before my graduation ceremony, there was an email notification that i am eligible to follow recruitment process in two companies, Brittish American Tobacco ands Garudafood. After struggling for 2 long days, eventually I FAILED AGAIN!

During the fasting month, i got a really surprising call from one of my dream company, BANK MANDIRI. for this one i flew miles away from Pekanbaru to Jakarta. I got a bit lucky this time. I pass the first tests, which was TOEFL test. But I FAILED on the second test, Apptitude Test.

Then, a about two weeks after my graduation ceremony, i got a notification from HSBC. WOOOOWWW... i was so thrilled that time. i followed the test, but at the moment i already know that I'M FAILING. well, it came true.

next, if i'm not forgotten, was a futures excahnge company in Pekanbaru. it wasn't a big company, but they also DID'NT ACCEPT ME!

then, i applied for english teacher post in LBPP LIA. that time i was really counting on this one. but, unfortunately i failed on the 4th test...ohh..daammn...

i move on to get more application...

i got a call from PT Fastfood Indonesia a.k.a KFC, i did the interview, but haven't heard anything from them since then...

the last one would be, one of the biggest media group in Indonesia, MNC. for this one i also flew miles away from home...it was a really exhausting 1 day test. the next day i know I FAIL Again! FYI, in this recruitment process, there were 11,000 applicants, +/- 1,000 was called for test, and finally there will only be 30 people hired...wooww...

hmmm...i really have no clue where this journey will end. i just can keep on hoping, praying, and believing, that Allah has prepared a really great place for me...

Cinta datang
Cinta pergi
Ia berlalu sesuka hati
Tapi ia selalu mengisi ruang kosong di relung hati

Untuk keluarga
Untuk sahabat
Untuk kekasih

Cinta selalu disini
Memberi warna hari–hari…

Pekanbaru, Desember 2007

Hati ini...

Ya, aku pernah mencintainya dengan sepenuh hatiku…
Aku pun pernah membencinya dengan segenap jiwaku…

Sekarang,
Semua itu hilang
Tiada beban
Tiada perasaan berlebihan
Kami hanya berteman
Berbagi pesan,
Kesan
Tanpa dendam

Ini terasa lebih menyenangkan…

Pekanbaru, November 2007

Semua yang Ada

by D'Cinnamons

Jauh hari ku merasa,
kau pasti nant adi milikku
Tlah terjadi semuanya, kuyakin kau nanti disisiku

Tak peduli apa kata yang lain, hati ini hanya ingin dirimu

Dan kini maafkanlah
kuterlanjur ingini, terlanjur sayangi
Semua yang ada....

Sudikah kau terima, ku terlanjur ingini
Terlanjur sayangi, semua yang ada...
Di dalam dirimu

Kuterima putusanmu, tak akan,
ku takkan menyesal
Kuakui kupaksakan,
ku bukan manusia sempurna
Tak peduli apa kata yang lain
Hati ini hanya ingin dirimu

Dan kini maafkanlah
kuterlanjur ingini, terlanjur sayangi
Semua yang ada....

Sudikah kau terima, ku terlanjur ingini
Terlanjur sayangi, semua yang ada...
Di dalam dirimu

Ooh, andaikan kubisa
berplaing dari dirimu
Oooh, lemas hati ini jika aku harus memilih lagi....



****
This song represent my feelings now...
it's for someone who has filled my days fro the past year...
miss u...

mendung

langit mendung
membuatku termenung
berpikir, kapan cuaca mendung ini akan berubah cerah?

kata orang, mendung itu tak selalu kelabu
benar, di balik sebuah wajah mendung dan sendu
ada sebersit cahaya, sebuah senyum malu
sebentuk harapan, cinta dan cita

senyum itu terpancar dari hatinya yg indah
dari hatinya yang bersih
cahaya matanya
menyiratkan semangat besar
hidup akan terus berjalan

walaupun hujan badai menghadang

setelah hujan
langit kembali indah
cerah
bahkan terkadang penuh warna,
ada sebentuk pelangi

memberi warna baru di hatiku

The Best Birthday Present...

After living in this world for more than 21 years old, I feel that I know which birthday has the most happiness and gratitude…

Yup, in the 21st year of my life I really felt that Allah SWT has given me all the blessings and love, all circumstances that had made me stronger and wiser in facing life… Alhamdulillah!

Well, there are some things that I think was the best present that Allah gave to me…

First, my wonderful family, they are the one that always gave me all the motivations and spirit in my life.. I really love every one of you..

Then, I have a lot of lovely and great friends, where I can share anything and feel all the cry and happiness…

The next one will be my graduation on the 27th of October 2007.. Allah SWT has given me all health and patience to have done all the assignments, jobs, and finally the final project to finish my undergraduate studies.. Through those three years, I’ve learned a lot of knew things.. Yes, those years was one of the best year in my life…

The last would be having an opportunity to have celebrated my 21st birthday with my family, because it has been 3 years that I spent my birthday with my friends.. Not that it wasn’t special, those birthdays was also really special for me.. Those birthdays has different gladness compared to my 21st…


Alhamdulillah! Thanks Allah, for all your love and blessings…

Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah...
akhirnya tugas akhir gw selesai dengan perjuangan yang cukup melelahkan...(=
mengerjakan tugas akhir sementara harus kuliah dengan jadwal yang padat emang berat, tapi Alhamdulillah gw berhasil menjalani nya dengan cukup baik (didn't i?)

trus akhirnya kemaren gw ngejalanin sidang tugas akhir gw...
Alhamdulillah semua berjalan lancar...
and thank god i've got an A....=D

semua ini merupakan sebuah akhir dari masa kuliah gw di SBM...
tapi gw harap ini merupakan awal dari perjalanan yang menyenangkan dan penuh kesuksesan di masa yang akan datang, amin...

Hi There Dear....

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time since the last time you knocked at my door...

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time since the last time you greet me "hello"
and of course it has been so long since you asked "How are you?"

well then,
I have been wondering...
"Where have you been?"

I just kept missing your smile...
The way you greet me...."dear"
The way you have supported me along the way...

well now,
I will keep praying that someday you will come
knocking on that door again

well now,
you just have to know
that there will always be
an empty space in my heart
for you to fill in

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time...

Bagiin Kuesioner...

Jadi ceritanya gw udah mulai Tugas akhir nih (sejak akhir semester kemaren) dan untuk nyelesein tugas akhir gw itu gw make metode penyebaran kuesioner...
jadilah tiap hari jumat, sabtu, minggu dalam tiga minggu terakhir ini gw bagiin kuesioner di tempat penelitian gw yang kebetulan sebuah supermarket yang ada di Bandung...
jadi udah jelaskan kalo gw bakal berhadapan dengan banyak ibu-ibu...

penglaman mengajarkan gw bahwa tampang galak bukan berarti galak atau bakal nolak diintain tolong....

pas nyebarin kuesioner ini gw banyak mengalami penolakan...
mulai dari alasan klise seperti "'maaf mbak, saya lagi buru-buru nih..."...sampe "aduh mbak, maaf saya pusing liat pertanyaannya..." sampe ada juga yang bilang "waduh...kuesioner ya?? saya lagi males nih..."
rasanya saat itu pengen banget maki-maki tuh orang...
gak tau apa gw udah berdiri muter-muter disitu 3 jam....pegel tau...

dan yang perlu gw syukuri sekarang....
bagiin kuesioner nya sudah selesai...
mudah2an datanya valid dan reliable
jadi gw gak harus ngulang lagi...

Kekasih Sejati

By Yovie Widianto

Aku yang memikirkan
Namun aku tak banyak berharap
Kau membuat waktuku tersita
Dengan angan tentangmu

Mencoba lupakan
Tapi ku tak bisa, mengapa....
Oh...mungkin aku bermimpi
Menginginkan dirimu
Untuk ada disini menemaniku
Oh...mungkinkah kau
yang jadi kekasih sejatiku
Semoga tak sekedar harapku

Dan bila, Kau tak manjadi milikku
Aku takkan menyesal telah jatuh hati...

can't get him out of my head

well, i dunno why but i just can't get him outta my head! the more i try to forget him, the more he comes to my dreams and thoughts. he was not always around, but it seems like he is always on my way in everything. there are times when i missed sharing with him, chatting with him, and meeting him once in a while...
i just keep imagining him in my life even just as a friend (because i know he has someone beside him now)...
these days i dream to work with him in the same company...i hope it can happen someday...

sometimes i just can't help my self to see his profile and photos in FS, and it is just to make my heart happy...
sometimes i just can't help my self to send him an SMS...just to greet him hello...and be very greatful when he replies it...

when i think i'm gonna stop tryin' to forget him and just keep him in my heart for a little while...and just let it flow...
he can stay forever or leave when ever he wants to...

Watching leader in action!

Hmmm...judul yang menarik ya...
emang ini kegiatan yang menarik...
jadi ceritanya ada satu mata kuliah di SBM, Leadership, yang ngasih tugas ke kita-kita buat ngikutin seorang pemimpin di perusahaan-perusahaan besar...
setelah sempat terkatung-katung beberapa lama (alias gak tau mau "ngikutin" siapa), gw ama temen gw andien dikirim ke Coca Cola Bottling Indonesia (CCBI) di Cibitung....Nemuin National Supply Chain Manager di situ, namanya Pak Bambang Setiawan.
He was a good leader, he can give good supervision to his subordinates to achieve the company's goal.
menurut anak buahnya sih dia ini orangnya kebapakan, jadi dia selalu ngebelain anak buahnya yang salah dan mengakui itu sebagai kesalahannya ke atasannya. tapi ini juga jadi kekurangannya dia, jadinya anak buahnya gak biasa menanggung akibat dari kesalahan2nya...walaupun dia tetep negur dan ngasih peringatan ke anak buahnya.
Selain itu dia orangnya sangat Task Oriented, tapi People nya tetep bagus...he can maintain good relationship with his peers and subordinates...

Pesan dia buat kita-kita calon leader masa depan....
1. Work Smart, don't just work hard!
2. Have Competence
3. Have the ability to develop people


Well actually I am really hoping that one day I could be a great Leader....
for myself, my organization, my country....

waktu yang bergulir....

Hmmm…. Rasanya waktu cepet banget berlalu….
Kayaknya baru kemaren aja aku lulus SMA, baru kemaren sibuk belajar mati-matian buat ujian-ujian akhir SMA, dan tes masuk kuliah, baru kemaren ngumpul rame-rame di depan kelas sambil ngeliatin temen2 cowok yang oke…hehehehe….baru kemaren juga rasanya latihan pol-polan buat English day, yang akhirnya bikin kelasku juara 1 tiga kali berturut-turut…seneng banget rasanya inget masa-masa itu…rasanya semuanya bener-bener ngangenin, jadi pengen balik ke masa-masa itu….jadi kangen rumah….
Hmmm…kangen banget sama masa-masa ngegosip di kelas rame-rame, ngobrolin macem-macem, dari mulai gossip sampe hal-hal gak penting…kadang suka nyanyi-nyanyi bareng, seru deh….terus inget banget saat makan siang pas SMA…hampir semua bawa bekal, jadi makannya saling nyicip gitu deh….those moments were really-really wonderful….
Sekarang aku ada di tempat yang berbeda, di lingkungan yang berbeda, dengan orang-orang baru yang juga berbeda….awalnya semua terasa asing…tapi sekarang aku senang dengan keadaan nya…memang semua berbeda dengan di rumah….tapi banyak hal-hal baru yang aku pelajari disini…semuanya bikin aku banyak belajar, gak cuma pelajaran-pelajaran di kuliah, tapi juga tentang teman, persahabatan, cinta, dan terutama tentang hidup ini seutuhnya….gimana caranya berjuang buat dapetin apa yang kita mau (tapi dengan cara yang bener lho)…gimana caranya nerima kalo orang yang kita sukai itu biasa aja ama kita, bahkan menjauh dan bersama orang lain….gimana menyelesaikan masalah-masalah sehari-hari yang kecil-kecil tapi suka bikin stress sendiri (khususnya kalo tugas-tugas kuliah udah mulai menggila!!!)….atau hal kecil seperti bangun pagi di saat tadi malem baru tidur jam 1 atau jam 2….
Semuanya itu hal-hal yang bener-bener berharga dalam hidup, bikin kita semakin kuat dan termotivasi untuk punya hidup yang lebih baik, untuk jadi orang yang lebih baik dari sebelumnya…..memang gak semuanya menyenangkan bahakan banyak yang menyedihkan, tapi itu yang bikin kita belajar, belajar dan belajar lagi untuk masa depan kita yang masih jauh membentang…
Bener banget, waktu cepat berlalu….semuanya berubah secara perlahan, orang-orang di sekitar kita, lingkungan, teknologi, bahkan diri kita sendiri…..
Sekarang aku disini duduk di depan computer ini…merenungi masa depanku sendiri….akan jadi apa aku nanti? Bahagiakah? Siapa yang akan ada disana bersamaku? Seperti apa hidupku nanti? Aku juga hanya bisa berkhayal, membayangkan sebuah masa depan yang indah….tapi hanya sampai di situ, selain itu aku hanya bisa terus berusaha untuk mencapainya dan yang pasti gak lupa terus berdoa pada Allah SWT….Semoga semua berjalan dengan baik dan lancar…. Amin….

sebentar lagi aku 20 tahun....

hari ini tanggal 4 oktober 2006...
berarti tinggal 1 hari lagi menjelang ulang tahun gw...
deg deg an banget nih...
soalnya pada hari itu umur gw bakal berubah jadi kepala 2....huuuuaaaaaa.......
this mean i have bigger responsibility to my life....
i have to face more problems by my self in the future....
ya Allah semoga dengan bertambahnya usiaku ini...
aku akan menjadi orang yang lebih baik, berguna bagi orang-orang di sekitarku...
juga aku sangat berharap agar aku lebih bahagia menjalani hidupku ini...
semoga segala cita-cita dan harapan-harapan ku dapat tercapai...
amiiin...

Maribaya...here i come!

kemaren, tepatnya tanggal 20 september 2006, gw dan temen2 sekelas gw yang ngambil mata kuliah Leadership jalan-jalan...
terdengar menyenangkan? bisa iya bisa nggak...
soalnya ke maribaya nya kita ber 9 jalan kaki....hehehehe...
kita berangkat dari SBM sekitar jam 9 pagi, terus kita di turunin di dago bengkok, disitu kita di bagi jadi dua kelompok. gw bareng Andin, Lya, Benny, Arde....
jalan yang kita tempuh penuh rintangan...tanjakan nya itu lho parah banget....ada banyak, curam lagi...
di tengah perjalanan gw sempet ngerasa udah gak sanggup lagi dan pengen berhenti...tapi gw mikirin teman2 gw, kasihan kalo tim nya gak lengkap pas nyampe tujuan, nilai nya bakal kurang....akhirnya karena di semangatin terus ama temen2 sekelompok gw...akhirnya gw semangat lagi...jalan terus walaupun ngos-ngosan...
akhirnya kita nyampe di Maribaya sekitar jam 1/2 12...disitu kita dikasih penjelasan tentang apa yang udah kita lakuin...
abis itu kita makan siang di Brebes, Lembang, trus dalam perjalanan pulang kita beli es mambo..mmmmm yummy....

Bertahan

aku harus bertahan
menghadapi segala resiko dan tantangan yang ada di hadapan
menyelesaikan segala persoalan
menghadapi cobaan-cobaan
tetap bertahan
dalam perjalanan menuju masa depan

aku gak tahu harus merasa apa...
sedih atau bahagia...
ketika orang yang pernah mengisi hidupku bahkan hatiku...
Menjadi milik orang lain...
Haruskah ku sedih atau bahagia...

Libur tlah tiba....

akhirnya...
setelah lebih kurang 2 bulan hanya bisa ngeliat orang-orang liburan...
setelah lebih kurang 2 bulan ngisi hari-hari dengan kuliah semester pendek yang itu-itu aja (bikin bosen!)....
setelah lebih kurang 2 bulan sibuk dengan tugas-tugas....

tiba saatnya

LIBURAN!!!!

hehehehe...seneng banget bisa libur juga...
cape' banget kuliah terus...
tapi giliran libur, bingung mau ngapain...

liburan kali ini (seperti liburan-liburan sebelumnya sih...)
aku pulang ke pekanbaru, kota tercinta...
di rumah bingung mau ngapain, paling-paling nonton tivi, baca novel, tidur, makan, sesekali jalan-jalan, sesekali olahraga, yah paling gitu-gitu aja...

yang bikin seneng Insya Allah 2 minggu lagi aku bakal berangkat umrah...
mudah2an aja semua lancar, jadi aku bisa beribadah dengan tenang...

kesibukan baru anak kost

dua minggu belakangan ini di kostan gw ada kegiatan-kegiatan baru....

ampir tiap malem kita berkumpul di depan tivi, tapi bukan buat nonton tivi...
kita main DOMINO atau bahasa sehari-hari nya Gaple....hehehehe....udah kayak di pangkalan ojek aja...
kebiasaan baru ini bermula ketika kak Sondang pulang dari rumah temennya membawa sekotak domino...
akhirnya kita pada tergoda untuk main...
pas hari pertama kita main sampe jam 1/2 1 pagi...gila... padahal besoknya gw kuliah, untung masuknya jam 9, kalo gak udah pasti bolos deh...
hari kedua, sama aja, selesainya juga sekitar jam segitu...
hari-hari berikutnya kita udah mulai bisa manage waktu jadi selesainya gak semalem itu...

kebiasaan baru yang lain.....karaoke an...muter lagu di komputer...trus nyanyi keras keras sambil baca lirik nya di layar komputer.... biasanya ini dilakukan pagi-pagi atau sore-sore...pesertanya biasanya gw, kak ocha, ama kak mella....

trus satu kebiasaan lain yang baru dimulai kemaren, aerobik, walopun gw belum pernah ikut serta, tapi kayaknya ini bakal sering dilakuin ama anak2 kostan gw....