Ramadhan Segera Tibaaa...

Yup, Ramadhan sudah di depan mata....
Mari sambut dengan gembiraaa...Yaaayyy...

Alhamdulillah gak sampe 1 minggu lagi udah Ramadhan lagi, udah saatnya kita mulai bersiap-siap untuk beribadah sepenuh hati, meluangkan waktu untuk lebih banyak beribadah dan menyucikan hati untuk memaafkan semua orang yang pernah bersalah pada kita.

Mudah-mudahan kita semua bisa menjalani dan melaksanakan semua ibadah di bulan ini dengan hati yang bersih sampai di hari kemenangan.

Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa di bulan Ramadhan taun ini yaa semuanyaa...
Smoga amal ibadah kita dapat diterima Allah SWT...

Salah

by Cokelat

Usahku menepis rasa
Rindu yang mendera jiwa
Kau buat aku tersiksa

Bayangnya trus menghampiri
kemanapun ku coba pergi
kemana harus sembunyi

[hooww wooouuu...]
Lemahku lemah
Tak berdaya

Reff:
Salahkah bila
Ku tak henti mengharapkannya
[hooww woouuu...]
Meskipun akhirnya
Ku tahu dia hanya membuatku terluka

Bayangnya trus menghampiri
kemanapun ku coba pergi
oh,adakah dia perduli

lemahku lemah
tak berdaya

[howw wooouuu...]

****

Keep feeling this way
don't know how to end it...

A Weekend to Remember...

Yup, last weekend was really fun!!!

I went to Bandung on Friday afternoon, planning to meet my college friends and my cousins.

On Saturday I went to my friend's house, kaka Dian, and after that we head to Putri's house. We stayed there for a while, while chatting to update everything that has happened in our lives. later, Ayu and Gagay came. After that we went out to dinner at Warung Pasta.
After that, I joined my cousins at Paris Van Java. There we Karaoke...hehehe...well, this time it's not really fun because there were too many people we don't know there, which was my cousins friend. After that, we went to Madtari to have a late night dinneer...hehehe....
With full stomach, we had photo session at dago street, where there was a writing of "bdg".

The next day, we went to get a train ticket for my cousins and after that we had breakfast at Bubur Ayam Zaenal.
Later in the afternoon, my cousin's friend, Jawa, and my other cousin's boyfriend joined us. Then we went to Secret Factory Outlet. we were just window shopping. After that, we had snack time..yippie...we had Ice Durian, which was really delicious! After that we go to a photo studio to get some photo shot. it was great! after that we had dinner at Bebek Darmo. Then, we do some more karaoke...hahaha...to fulfill our disappointment on the previous day. after that we were preparing a surprise for my cousin, Icha's birthday. We set some scenario to make it succeed. We did it at Atmosphere Cafe. It was really fun. We all pushed her to a fish pod...hehehe...she was very upset and made us all wet. bad news was, both he cell phone was broken.

On monday, we were getting ready to go back to jakarta, with really heavy heads and eyes. because we got to bed really late the previous night. my two cousins went back using train. while i was using a shuttle service back to Jakarta.

So that was a nice weekend to remember...

Just an update on my so called life...

well, it's been quite a while since i wrote on this lovely blog....
hehehe...

nothing significant has happened in that 'while'...

I'm just still searching and struggling for the right job for me and my future. While doing that, I asked for permission from my current employer, where I teach there once a week, well I didn't tell them that I'm having tests here and there for another job, I just told them that I will be out of town for a while doing some personal matter. it's been three weeks since I said that. I don't know what they are thinking now...

During this three weeks, I've had a chance to have a trip to Bandung. OOouughh...how I missed that city...I spent about four days there. I contacted some friends and met one of them. I met Bunga, my college friend. Got some news updates on my friends. Well, some of them were heading abroad to gain their master's degree. which i envy so so much. I also wanted to go abroad and get more knowledge out there. I also met my housemates, really missed those moments when we were still living together.

Now, I'm still here in Jakarta. Waiting for results of the tests I've followed. Keep praying for the best results. I just wish to get what's best for me...

Do You Remember??

Do you remember?
Those wonderful moments...
The ones that was filling our days...
When rain pour down to our heads...
Makes us all wet...
But we always put on our happy faces
Those times when we run as fast as we could to be on time for our classes...
Those wonderful break times that we spent touring the campus, trying new places to eat, finding new fun places, or was just looking around...

Do you remember?
The times when we laugh and cry together...
When we argue on lot of things...
When we do things that we always love...
When we hangout or go shopping...
Those moments when we just sit and look around...
To seek for any eye catching views...

Do you remember?
All those beautiful days, that I hope will happen again one day....

He was My Obsession...Part II

The time goes by, we just send SMS to each other once in a while, not often. Sometimes we accidentally met on the cyber world, greet each other, asking for updates on our lives... but, as the time goes by, those times becomes more seldom... This makes me sad... but sometimes when i missed him i just send a "Hello" to him by SMS...

Then, one afternoon... i was taking a nap in my friend's room and left my cell phone in my own room...after i woke up, i checked my cell phone, there was "1 missed call", i checked. and i was surprised, it was HIM! then, i sent him an SMS, asking about the call. then he said that he's in Bandung and asked me the address of my boarding house, he wants to come and visit me...HUUAAAAA....I'M SO HAPPY!!!!
After that i got change, so that I'll be ready when he arrives... i waited for him in our common room, always looking outside waiting for him to come, still holding my cell phone. then, he called, asking the exact position of my place. and yes, he was standing there, in front of the gate. smiling at me. and said "halo...glad to finally meet you..." we shake hands...huhuhuhu.... while waiting for maghrib time, we have a chit chat, nice updates on our lives, but i guess everything was a lot different, i just lost my words, he keeps on asking me to talk about my life. but, i was just so amazed that time, i still thought that this was only a dream....
a dream come true i guess...

then, maghrib comes... he goes to pray at the small mosque nearby, because boys are not allowed in our rooms, while i pray in my room...

then, he comes back... ask me if i am hungry.. then we had dinner at McD Dago...huhuhu...such a memorable place... from thsi dinner i know that he really like water..hehehe... during dinner, we also chat a lot, even i'm still a bit quite... but still nice...
then, he say he have to go, he stays in a hotel quite far from Dago, and said that he will go back to jakarta the next day... so that was our meeting...

the next day, we still message each other by SMS...

then, we loose contact for about a month, when i opened his FS profile and found out that he was seeing someone...hmmm...i just got nothing to say that time... so i just message him and congratulate him on his relationship with this girl...

about a year later... i was at my campus comp room, checking my email and FS, i saw a new photo on his FS...ohh my god... it was a wedding photograph...yes it was true since i clarified everything to him...
i was really shocked that time, having this kind of news makes me confused...

well, that moment i just want to forget him and my obsession... but while i'm trying it became harder and harder....

now, he's just part of my past... i continued living and loving my life...

but, he's still there...
somewhere in my heart...

Til we meet again

At last we meet again
Even only for a while

share some stories
seems you are happy with your new life now
I haven't start mine
but, I hope I will be as happy as you are

I've prepared something for you but I guess it isn't the right time
so I'll save it for later
for the right moment

so, til we meet again...

He was my obsession...

It all started when i was in my second year of senior high school. it started when i see my chair mate’s cell phone. there was an interesting name in the phonebook. his name was Troy. a unique name i guess. then i saved his number. i didn’t do anything to the number for weeks. one day i really have nothing to do and opened my phone book, then i found his number. a silly thought come to my mind. yes, i’m going to give him a missed called...Hahahaha....after several times i did that. comes one SMS. it’s him, he texted, “hi, who’s this? sorry i don’t have your number in my phone book...” so i replied, “hi, this is Zaza, i got your number from a friend, you are Troy (not his real name), right?”... “Yes, nice to know you then...hmmm, i don’t really like SMSs, why don’t we just use emails, we then we can share pics, how bout it? here’s my email troya@yahoo.com (not his real email either)”....”Okay, mine is aziska_06@yahoo.com”... “don’t forget to send me ur pic...”.

that’s how it all started, that evening i called him and had a little chat. recently i know that he just graduated from college in electrical engineering from ITB, the best institute of techonology in Indonesia. Woowww...that was my dream campus...and knowing him encourages me more to study there.

days later we started to send emails to each other. it was always nice long emails, with our daily stories, our backgrounds and fun stuffs to share. those years was really great for me. to have some one to share with, after along time having no company. he was always nice and cheerful. but, the emails becomes seldom, just once in weeks. that’s when he started to get a job. i was really happy that he got his first job, eventhough it wasn’t his dream job. those days, i felt that he likes me, even when we never met each other. he always come around, anytime in my life, stays in my heart for along time....

he was one of the reason why i decided to go to ITB to continue my studies that time, and i never regret that decision of mine... he was always been my supporter, he gives me a lot of supports and spirit...

during our three years cyber relationship, we never met. we just sent SMS, emails and call each other. until one afternoon, he messages me. saying “Za, i’m in bandung now, can we meet? i really wanted to see you personally...” okay, i’m like, SHOCKED!! after years, this time comes. that was my first year of college. but i said, the weather is too hot outside and i don’t wanna go alone, so he said “why don’t u ask ur friend to accompany you” but there’s like no one wanting to go on a hot afternon like that... so i gave up, and didn’t meet him...OOOUUUGGGHHH...that’s sucks!!

When a Man Lost a Women; a Novel by Ita Sembiring

It's a nice book, it has poets in the beginning of every chapter..these are my favorites...

"Tetapi...coba tanyakan padanya, mengapa sudi dipecundangi cinta. Yakinlah, laki-laki itu pasti tertawa. Menertawakan pertanyaanmu yang dianggapnya bodoh, lalu bekata, 'Kalau kau pernah mengecap cinta, kau tak akan pernah bertanya.'"

"Palingkanlah matamu daripadaku, sebab aku menjadi bingung karenanya."

"Seperti makanan enak-enak yang disajikan kepada mulut terkatup, demikianlah pesajian yang di tempatkan diatas kubur."

"Jangan menyerahkan kepada kesedihan, dan jangan pula menyiksa dirimu dengan disengaja."

"Karena mereka tidak dapat tidur bila tidak berbuat jahat. Kantuk mereka lenyap bila mereka tidak membuat orang tersandung."

"Air yang banyak tak dapat memadamkan cinta, sungai-sungai tak dapat menghanyutkannya."

"Ceritakanlah kepadaku, jantung hatiku, di mana Kakanda menggembalakan domba, di mana kakanda membiarkan domba-domba berbaring pada malam hari."

Saya Bukan Manusia Sempurna

ya, hanya itu yang dapat saya ucapkan saat ini
saat orang - orang menuntut kesempurnaan dari saya

saya tidak bisa focus pada satu hal, saya akan melakukan banyak hal, banyak rencana dalam satu waktu

saya punya mimpi besar tentang hidup saya 5 - 10 tahun lagi. hanya mereka yang mengerti saya yang bisa memahami nya.

mereka yang tidak, hanya akan bilang, "ah, gak usah muluk - muluk" tapi bagi saya ini sebuah keinginan untuk jadi lebih baik.

saya selalu berpikir, banyak hal yang bisa saya perbuat untuk orang2 yang telah mengisi hidup saya, hanya yang ada sedikit kesempatan untuk mewujudkannya. hidup terus berlanjut, gak mudah untuk melalui nya.

tapi ini hanya sebuah pernyataan, bukan perlawanan, hanya bercerita, bukan menyebar berita.

Big Girls Don't Cry

by Fergie

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

La Da Da Da Da Da
***

Yupz...we do not cry in front of alot of people..
we just need a time alone and have our own time..

Kangen kalian semua...

Kangen suasananya...
Kangen gelak tawanya
Kangen becandaannya
kangen jalan - jalannya
kangen cerita - ceritanya
Kangen kebiasaan kita
menjelajahi kampus tercinta
mencari 'pemandangan' yang menyejukkan mata
dan hati kita
Bahagia, tawa, canda dan duka
Yang telah kita lalui bersama...

One of the Toughest Part in Life: Finding the Right Job

Well, this journey starts at a part of my life where i was on my final year of college.

yes, it was when the career service team of SBM starts to tell us to start to figure out where we're going to work when we graduate, what short of job we really want and all that kind of stuffs.

well, my journey starts when i applied for P&G, i think it was in the beginning of 2006. i did all the things that i should do, but the internet in ITB was so lame and pathetic, so it made things worser... in this first journey, I FAILED!

then, i can't really remember which one was the second.
during those times i was always applying for nearly all job offered by the SBM Career Service. Until the time on July 2007 when they held the 1st SBM's Career Fair. I applied to 10 companies out of 12 (i guess).

after that i always checked my SBM email and apply for the companies that interest me.

about a month before my graduation ceremony, there was an email notification that i am eligible to follow recruitment process in two companies, Brittish American Tobacco ands Garudafood. After struggling for 2 long days, eventually I FAILED AGAIN!

During the fasting month, i got a really surprising call from one of my dream company, BANK MANDIRI. for this one i flew miles away from Pekanbaru to Jakarta. I got a bit lucky this time. I pass the first tests, which was TOEFL test. But I FAILED on the second test, Apptitude Test.

Then, a about two weeks after my graduation ceremony, i got a notification from HSBC. WOOOOWWW... i was so thrilled that time. i followed the test, but at the moment i already know that I'M FAILING. well, it came true.

next, if i'm not forgotten, was a futures excahnge company in Pekanbaru. it wasn't a big company, but they also DID'NT ACCEPT ME!

then, i applied for english teacher post in LBPP LIA. that time i was really counting on this one. but, unfortunately i failed on the 4th test...ohh..daammn...

i move on to get more application...

i got a call from PT Fastfood Indonesia a.k.a KFC, i did the interview, but haven't heard anything from them since then...

the last one would be, one of the biggest media group in Indonesia, MNC. for this one i also flew miles away from home...it was a really exhausting 1 day test. the next day i know I FAIL Again! FYI, in this recruitment process, there were 11,000 applicants, +/- 1,000 was called for test, and finally there will only be 30 people hired...wooww...

hmmm...i really have no clue where this journey will end. i just can keep on hoping, praying, and believing, that Allah has prepared a really great place for me...

Cinta datang
Cinta pergi
Ia berlalu sesuka hati
Tapi ia selalu mengisi ruang kosong di relung hati

Untuk keluarga
Untuk sahabat
Untuk kekasih

Cinta selalu disini
Memberi warna hari–hari…

Pekanbaru, Desember 2007

Hati ini...

Ya, aku pernah mencintainya dengan sepenuh hatiku…
Aku pun pernah membencinya dengan segenap jiwaku…

Sekarang,
Semua itu hilang
Tiada beban
Tiada perasaan berlebihan
Kami hanya berteman
Berbagi pesan,
Kesan
Tanpa dendam

Ini terasa lebih menyenangkan…

Pekanbaru, November 2007

Semua yang Ada

by D'Cinnamons

Jauh hari ku merasa,
kau pasti nant adi milikku
Tlah terjadi semuanya, kuyakin kau nanti disisiku

Tak peduli apa kata yang lain, hati ini hanya ingin dirimu

Dan kini maafkanlah
kuterlanjur ingini, terlanjur sayangi
Semua yang ada....

Sudikah kau terima, ku terlanjur ingini
Terlanjur sayangi, semua yang ada...
Di dalam dirimu

Kuterima putusanmu, tak akan,
ku takkan menyesal
Kuakui kupaksakan,
ku bukan manusia sempurna
Tak peduli apa kata yang lain
Hati ini hanya ingin dirimu

Dan kini maafkanlah
kuterlanjur ingini, terlanjur sayangi
Semua yang ada....

Sudikah kau terima, ku terlanjur ingini
Terlanjur sayangi, semua yang ada...
Di dalam dirimu

Ooh, andaikan kubisa
berplaing dari dirimu
Oooh, lemas hati ini jika aku harus memilih lagi....



****
This song represent my feelings now...
it's for someone who has filled my days fro the past year...
miss u...

mendung

langit mendung
membuatku termenung
berpikir, kapan cuaca mendung ini akan berubah cerah?

kata orang, mendung itu tak selalu kelabu
benar, di balik sebuah wajah mendung dan sendu
ada sebersit cahaya, sebuah senyum malu
sebentuk harapan, cinta dan cita

senyum itu terpancar dari hatinya yg indah
dari hatinya yang bersih
cahaya matanya
menyiratkan semangat besar
hidup akan terus berjalan

walaupun hujan badai menghadang

setelah hujan
langit kembali indah
cerah
bahkan terkadang penuh warna,
ada sebentuk pelangi

memberi warna baru di hatiku

The Best Birthday Present...

After living in this world for more than 21 years old, I feel that I know which birthday has the most happiness and gratitude…

Yup, in the 21st year of my life I really felt that Allah SWT has given me all the blessings and love, all circumstances that had made me stronger and wiser in facing life… Alhamdulillah!

Well, there are some things that I think was the best present that Allah gave to me…

First, my wonderful family, they are the one that always gave me all the motivations and spirit in my life.. I really love every one of you..

Then, I have a lot of lovely and great friends, where I can share anything and feel all the cry and happiness…

The next one will be my graduation on the 27th of October 2007.. Allah SWT has given me all health and patience to have done all the assignments, jobs, and finally the final project to finish my undergraduate studies.. Through those three years, I’ve learned a lot of knew things.. Yes, those years was one of the best year in my life…

The last would be having an opportunity to have celebrated my 21st birthday with my family, because it has been 3 years that I spent my birthday with my friends.. Not that it wasn’t special, those birthdays was also really special for me.. Those birthdays has different gladness compared to my 21st…


Alhamdulillah! Thanks Allah, for all your love and blessings…

Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah...
akhirnya tugas akhir gw selesai dengan perjuangan yang cukup melelahkan...(=
mengerjakan tugas akhir sementara harus kuliah dengan jadwal yang padat emang berat, tapi Alhamdulillah gw berhasil menjalani nya dengan cukup baik (didn't i?)

trus akhirnya kemaren gw ngejalanin sidang tugas akhir gw...
Alhamdulillah semua berjalan lancar...
and thank god i've got an A....=D

semua ini merupakan sebuah akhir dari masa kuliah gw di SBM...
tapi gw harap ini merupakan awal dari perjalanan yang menyenangkan dan penuh kesuksesan di masa yang akan datang, amin...

Hi There Dear....

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time since the last time you knocked at my door...

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time since the last time you greet me "hello"
and of course it has been so long since you asked "How are you?"

well then,
I have been wondering...
"Where have you been?"

I just kept missing your smile...
The way you greet me...."dear"
The way you have supported me along the way...

well now,
I will keep praying that someday you will come
knocking on that door again

well now,
you just have to know
that there will always be
an empty space in my heart
for you to fill in

Hi there dear...
it has been a long time...